have your say.....

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-05-2003
have your say.....
16
Tue, 09-12-2006 - 3:13pm

Hello Everyone,
I thought it would be interesting to try a little experiment and get some reactions to certain situations.
I'll try to present a situation, and I'd love to hear some feedback and impressions from others as to how they would react to it based on the information provided, from their own perspective.
These could be from long ago, or they could be recent events. They might be things I've experienced, or my friends or a family member but I won't indicate which. I will try to provide as much information as I can. Feel free to ask any questions.
Could be interesting and revealing also.

Here goes:

First time Mom and Dad are invited to a wedding that they agreed to attend. A close, trusted family member agrees take on the babysitting duties of their three month old baby.
Mom is breastfeeding, so she prepares four bottles and....as it turns out, accidentally forgot to put a nipple in one of the bottles.

Mom gives instructions to the babysitter, but the sitter at this time has no idea that one of the bottles will be in doubt as to whether it is safe to give the baby.
Mom instructs the sitter on feeding schedule but also give assurances that they should be home in time for the 11:00p.m. feeding. If there is a problem, there is some powdered formula up in the cupboard, but also mentions in passing that she is not sure it still has a good date on it. No mention of any pre-sterilized bottles and nipples is provided. Mom seems tense, so sitter decides not to ask too many questions, opting to cross that bridge when and if the time came.

Off to the wedding, and having a chance to relax, Mom and Dad call home a few times to check on the baby (completely natural). Everything is fine.
Baby has 3 feedings according to schedule, taking more of each bottle than the stated usual amounts of previous bottle feedings of breast milk. Baby enjoys the attention from the sitter and is content and smiling while awake. After the 8p.m. feeding and getting into pjs plus final diaper change as per Mom's instructions, baby falls asleep peacefully in the same room with the sitter. This despite a good deal of noise and other distractions associated with a room other than baby's own bedroom....baby manages to sleep through it all.

Dad calls home at 10:30p.m. and informs sitter that they are on their way home.
The sitter relaxes feeling that the last bottle which is in doubt won't be needed for baby's 11:00p.m. feeding won't be needed since Mom and Dad should be home in time for Mom to breastfeed.

(The fridge actually contained two bottles. One empty. The other being the aforementioned bottle without the nipple which also did not contain as much formula as the previous bottles. This caused the sitter to wonder if the bottle had been left there by mistake and did not feel it was safe to give the baby, but did not feel concerned since the baby is sleeping soundly and comfortably, still in the same room with the sitter.)

Mom and Dad arrive home at 1:00 a.m., baby is still sleeping soundly, sleeping through the night for the first time. Mom wakes baby to breastfeed after arriving home.

I guess what I would like to hear your thoughts on:
Is this situation in need of drama.... and if so who would have a right to that drama, and who should be on the receiving end of that drama in your view?
Or anything else you would like to share......
have your say:-)

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iVillage Member
Registered: 09-12-2006
Tue, 09-12-2006 - 3:24pm
I don't see need for any drama. The only things I would say would be #1 IF the sitter had doubts they should've asked for clarification even if the mom seemed tense & #2 why was there an empty bottle in the fridge? and #3 the baby probably should've been asleep in their own bed.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-16-2006
Tue, 09-12-2006 - 3:32pm
I would have to say there would be no drama, because the baby was asleep and content. If the baby would have woke up then there would be some concern, but all the sitter would have had to do was make a phone call. If she didn't get a hold of the parents then she could have checked the date on the formula, and made another bottle if she was unsure about the one in the fridge.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Tue, 09-12-2006 - 8:17pm

Hi Devastated_2003, welcome to the board!

I don't see any need for drama anywhere. The baby was sound asleep and I think that is what matters. If the baby didn't get the BM he/she was supposed to get but was tired and wanted to go to sleep, then I think the baby should be left to sleep Also, the baby can always make up BM that was missed in the morning. I don't think missing one BF is going to make a big difference. I don't have any biokids, so I could be wrong.

The only thing I don't understand is why did Mom wake the baby up to breastfeed? If the baby was sleeping soundly, why wake him/her up?








iVillage Member
Registered: 09-12-2006
Tue, 09-12-2006 - 9:55pm
A couple reasons for waking up a baby to breastfeed would be because the mom was feeling full & needed relief after being out all night (of course she could've pumped too), she might have missed the baby, or she was trying to get the baby nice & full so she wouldn't have to wake up later to feed it.
Avatar for cl_mugalug
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 09-12-2006 - 11:04pm
I agree. There is no need for drama. If the baby was sleeping then he or she should have been left to sleep. Babies don't have to eat round the clock unless they are that way. Mom should have left the baby alone. Also as far as the missed bottle, that was Mom's fault for not making sure there was a nipple on it and also their fault for not making sure that there was good formula as a bad up in case the baby wanted an extra bottle. But it wasn't a big deal if the baby didn't wake up and wasn't hungry. Also, the empty bottle should not have been in the fridge. I bf both my boys and when I learned with my first that if they sleep through the night to leave them, I never woke them up to feed them. If I needed relief, I pumped.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-23-2003
Wed, 09-13-2006 - 8:46am

question...the parents said they would probably be home for the 11pm feeding, called to say they left at 10:30pm and then...got home at 1am? is that last time a typo? That seems a little rude to the babysitter if they really were that late.

I'm picky about food. I admit it. If I'm in any doubt as to whether it is good or not, I assume it's not good and throw it out. So I'm kinda' concerned that (1) the mom would keep formula she wasn't sure about in the cupboard and (2) mention it as a back-up without stressing that the date needed to be checked.

The baby is woken and fed or the baby misses a feeding...doubt there will be any lasting effects good or bad either way.

I don't see any really need for drama though, but I can't wait to see if there was drama and "whodunit". :)

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Avatar for jujsky
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Wed, 09-13-2006 - 9:19am

No need for drama at all. I think the sitter probably should have asked the parents about the bottle in the fridge. Even if he/she felt that the mom was too tense to ask at the time, you did state that the parents called to check on the baby a few times. She could have asked then.

Julie

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-05-2004
Wed, 09-13-2006 - 9:38am

I dont see the need for any drama. I hate drama.


If I had been the sitter, I would have asked at some point about the less bottle in the fridge, and I would have checked the date on the formula just for good measure. I am annal like that.


As a mom, which I am, I am pretty laid back. The only way I would have been upset was if, after telling her to check the expiration, she fed expired formula to my baby. But then again, my own fault for having expired formula around my house, and not leaving enough milk for the baby.


I would have been more peeved at myself for being dumb.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-05-2003
Wed, 09-13-2006 - 10:54am

>> No need for drama at all. I think the sitter probably should have asked the parents about the bottle in the fridge.

The sitter had no idea about the questionable bottle in the fridge prior to the parents leaving for the reception. The call where the questionable bottle could have been asked about came in at about 10:30.p.m. At that time, the parents indicated to the sitter that they were heading home, which should have been in plenty of time for an 11:00p.m. feeding by Mom. Parents did not arrive home until 1:00 a.m.





Edited 9/13/2006 11:33 am ET by devastated_2003
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-05-2003
Wed, 09-13-2006 - 11:21am

>>> question...the parents said they would probably be home for the 11pm feeding, called to say they left at 10:30pm and then...got home at 1am? is that last time a typo? That seems a little rude to the babysitter if they really were that late.

Nope, that last time was not a typo. That was the time of the call to say they were on their way home, and their arrival. According to their estimated time for leaving to attend the reception, it would take approx. 30 minutes during hectic day time traffic conditions.

>>>So I'm kinda' concerned that (1) the mom would keep formula she wasn't sure about in the cupboard.

I agree, but it was deemed at the time to be a solution of last resort.

>>> I don't see any really need for drama though, but I can't wait to see if there was drama and "whodunit". :)

I will reveal all tomorrow.

Can I assume that right at this moment the facts have been presented in such a way that it is difficult to determine who created drama over this? ;-)

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