He left me just now.....
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| Fri, 12-01-2006 - 11:58pm |
I'm new here. I joined a couple weeks ago to read about other people's problems with their ILs and tell myself that our problems weren't really that bad and we'd get through it all. My hands are shaking so bad and I'm about to lose it. Please help.
Four weeks ago, the Love of my life asked me if I cheated on him. I swear to you all just as I swore to him that I never have. He told me his family doesn't like me, so there must be something wrong with me. They've gotten along with his other girlfriends and wives even though they were scheming horrible women who took advantage of him, lied to him, cheated on him and ruined his life and credit. I love him so much because he has such a beautiful heart and I knew we would make this work. I would never hurt him, not in a million years.
They are telling him about horrible comments I've made that I have no recollection of. They are telling him that I've cheated with several men and they have "proof." When I proved that their "proof" was based on lies, he still chose to believe them, stating that they have his best interests at heart.
We've been together for over 16 months now, living together since January. We're both 32. I have four children whom he has loved and bonded with and they have loved him just as much. He came home tonight with his three brothers and a friend and moved every possession of his out and into a truck. My children and I sat on the stairs and cried.
I love him so much, we have such a wonderful life here. I left my job and family in Indy to move to Louisville, KY when he got a promotion this summer. We bought a house, a new car for him to work from, the kids love their new school....and he's gone. I have no one.
No, that's not right...I have my children and they have me....I've told them that quite a few times tonight already. Please help me. I know other couples have problems with ILs that are so much worse. I've read all the posts, I know. He says he loves me but he says he can't be torn between me and his family. He says I make him happy, happier than he's ever been. But if they don't like me, there's got to be good reason. I've tried to get along with them, really I have. We just don't have that much in common and I feel left out of every family gathering. Then they say I come off as a snob and they think I feel I'm better than them.
Can it really just come down to that? They don't like me....so it's over? Please. Please help me.

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Another update, for those of you that aren't yet completely disgusted by this sad story of mine.....
He called. He saw the DDHG website and profile. He was hurt. "Good!" I said. "That makes two of us." We've talked and he's told me he's miserable. He knows it was a mistake to leave, to walk away from the perfect woman and give up on a beautiful future. He wanted to know if counseling was still an option, if I was still willing to try.
It will be hard, there is so much to work out and so much to heal from. Our first appointment is tomorrow at 6pm. I can hear you all now, screaming at me! I'm screaming at myself, "What am I doing? Am I nuts? Giving him another chance, just so he can leave again, lie again, hurt me again....."
But this pain my children and I have endured the past six weeks, although undeserved and cruel, doesn't compare to the happiness we had and the happiness we'll have again if this works out. I love him, we were so good together. I have to try.
{{{hugs}}}
Please do not "give" him anything until he has had at least *several* sessions. Otherwise he's just using this to use you again. Let him show you his level of sincerity *BEFORE* you give him *any* level of trust.
Don't give him money, a place to stay, access to your kids, or sex. Not until he has *SHOWN* you that he is sincere.
Talk is cheap and actions speak louder. So wait until he *shows* you what he is instead of what he *tells* you he is.
, Hey, it *could* happen!
ilve2read
Seriously, if he's that keen on making "things work" again then he should be willing to financially compensate for all he took. Oh please! I am sorry to rain on your parade but this guy is not good news. I hope time proves me wrong, but I would be surprised if he does change and doesnt betray you again.
And I am frankly shocked that there would even be any talk of sex!! He must have some gall. Please dont sacrifice your self-respect for this low-life. Give him 6 months to prove that he has changed, before you start trusting him again.
HeyGang.
Lurker here who has ben reading this thread and for what it is worth. I feel like I am reading a book. Not quite a romance novel because it isn't. But a trashy novel worthy of Sandra Brown or similar authors. Where the heroine continues ro make the wrong decisions until the hero comes along. This girl here. Sounds more like a vicitm of abuse or something. The fact that some of the stuff that comes up to me just is making me go hmmm. I would love to see someone truly verify the facts in this thread. I would love to know if this guy is being honest at all. And if your writer is too. I am sorry to be such a well superstious person but I have read too many trashy novels not to well see some red flags here. I could be wrong but still.
Rina
Hey my3sonsjej,
I have to say that I tend to agree with you. No offense to the original poster if she has been sincere, but I find these posts to be just a little too far out there. It makes me wonder if the poster or if her BF are really, well, real people or if this is just a hoax or something. In fact, let us hope it is some hoax or stretch of the imagination because it sounds like a pretty awful situation.
Sophie,
I just wanted to see how you and your children are doing!
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