Help with Conviving mother in law, may end our marriage
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|Wed, 03-19-2014 - 11:56am|
I need some help fast. I married my wife not knowing anything about her mom. I mean I've seen her once or twice but she doesn't live in the same state. She lives across the country. The 2 times I've seen her was before me and her daughter got married. For the 2 times I've seen her, she seemed like a nice person but now I know the truth.Prior to having the both in laws meet everything was fine. My mom and my wife got along fine, not issues no drama. Ever since my mother in law met my mom my wife started having "issues" with my mom.
We've been married for 6 years and now have a baby girl. My mom has been helping us for 3 1/2 days till recently. Now she's helping out 2 days out of the week since my mother in law came over. And this is when all the problems started to get worse.
1. I found out that my mother in law wants to move to the same state that we are in but she doesn't want to sell her home and move over. She wants to keep it so that she can go back and stay there when she visits her son and grand son. But she secretly urges my wife (behind my back) to get 2 bedroom place. Now we have a 1 bedroom with our newborn and we are managing. We want to take our time and find a place that we'll like and can afford but with her mom's influence my wife now wants to pull tigger on every unit that we see. We are renting a place for her to live in and it's costing us $600 per month. But she's ungrateful instead she'll come out and complain to my wife how it's to noisy and it's not quiet end because it's close to a side road. Now the place she's staying at is a completely residential area, hardly any heavy traffic. If any it would be people leaving for work or coming home from work.
2. Mother in law either twists everything that my mom says or only tells part of what my mom says to my wife making her angry with my mom. And my wife wll confront me about it and I end up defending my mom. The f*ked up part is that my mother in law slyly hints it to my wife that she doesn't want to cause trouble and etc so my wife (gullible) will say that my mom said it to her and to my mother in law. Which makes it harder for me to defend my mom because if i said it was a lie or a miscommunication I would be accusing my wife of lying. The truth is my wife was never around when it happened. Since my mom is never around when this confrontation happens there's no way to get to the truth. Even if i find out from my mom and go that's not what happen my mother in law mom will twist it and say how my mom is now causing a rift in our marriage by saying that she's making me not believe my wife.
3. I know my mother in law doesn't want my mother to be around. She wants my mom out of the picture by causing issues between my wife and my mom. Once my mom is out then my wife will have no choice but to go with her mom which means we'll be force to get a 2 bedroom place and she'll get her wish of being able to move to the state that we are in. She also doesn't want my baby girl to be with my mom. She hates it when my baby girl wants to be hugged by my mom and not her mom.
In the end of the day it all comes down to this, everytime we fight and argue it has to do with her mom or my mom. I don't know if our marriage will survive this way.