Help! He's not on MY side!
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Help! He's not on MY side!
| Tue, 08-15-2006 - 2:54pm |
My future mother-in-law is a nightmare. She's attached to her son and does not want to let go- especially not to me. She does everything she possibly can to cause a fight between me and my significant. The worst part is that he doesn't think she does anything wrong, constantly defends her, and has secret conversations with her. WHAT DO I DO? I can't make him see the light. Do I give up or give it time?

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To quote a poster on another board I frequent, "Run like a citizen of Tokyo fleeing Godzilla."
I am serious. If he is doing this before you marry, what do you honestly think will happen afterward? If I could have a "do-over", I may have done things differently and chosen more wisely. You have the chance.
You call off the wedding. You can't change him. You can't make him see her off of the pedistal he's put her on. It will NOT change. This is who he is and how he is and how she is. You accept reality, you live in reality. You don't ignore the truth smacking you in the face and hope it stops. You don't volunteer for this life and then complain about getting what you signed on for. It will start to effect your amount of respect for your (future) husband. You've got two choices here. You stay and accept this reality, and realize that you then forfit rights to be upset that you got what you knew you'd get. Or you accept reality and end the relationship to find a man who isn't his mommas boy.
Don't get an alligator if you want something that purrs in your lap, KWIM?
You are right. You can't make him see the light. And as long as he cleaves to his mother, he is not available for marriage. If you two are just dating then it is time to prepare yourself to move on. If you are engaged, give him back the ring. I suggest you be completely honest with him about why.
And I completely agree with this, from a previous poster:
"You don't volunteer for this life and then complain about getting what you signed on for."
Edited 8/16/2006 4:36 pm ET by goddesskatiebelle
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