Help me fix my wife's hurt feelings
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|Fri, 08-24-2012 - 9:57pm|
I confess I love my wife of 38 years more than the day we wed. We have weathered plenty of storms which would have broken many marriages. Most caused by others especially jealousy from her 3 sisters. When we married she had experienced a terrible marriage two years previously, with a cheating husband during a pregnancy that had already impregnated another. She was a working geologist and fearful of losing her job worked to day before delivery, then returned to work 3 days later. Naturally, her younger sister’s done the “we told you not to marry him” and always did their best to rub it in. Her mother was none to comforting too. Only her father did his very best to support her for the following two years. Essentially she was resigned to forget ever getting involved with men again.
When she introduced me to her family it appeared that all went well. When I drove her home I could see she was trying to hide her crying. I was so concerned being somehow responsible asking what I done. She told me her sister’s had asked her how she had attracted such a nice man implying that she wasn’t attractive enough.
Of course I could care less what they thought my only concern was for her, and told her so.
As a man, I did my best to love her and make her happy, moving her from her mobile home into a new house she choose, buying a new full size van for the family, and when she was laid-off from work offering a choice to seek new work or remain home with her now adopted son and son by our marriage. Working in computers and electronics my income was more than adequate to support our family. When the oil patch dried up she was content to raise the kid and has remained home ever since.
We moved to new homes several times and every respect was very happy vacationing with the boys in Hawaii, several cruises, the National Parks, and trekking around the country doing her genealogy project. I was a Cub then Scout Master and did SCUBA with the boys in the Keys, several Disney World vacations.
I admit to being clueless when several years ago one of her sister’s, all who have worked since completing college, asked me if I wouldn’t have liked someone supporting me while playing with my hobbies. I know this sounds dumb, no if she’s happy why I shouldn’t. I always felt like a lucky man having her love and companionship. I appears to her sister’s she has been spoiled all he married life, in my opinion there’s a green eyed monster living in all three of them.
Last year I was surprised when she asked me why her sister’s and mother had treated her without any compassion and felt she didn’t deserve a nice husband and family. Frankly it was a question I was totally unprepared for since more than 30 years had passed. If I have control of a situation I fix it, if I don’t then it’s forgotten, why fret over something you have no chance to fix. Women must use a different logic in their problem solving.
My question is does anyone have any suggestions how I can assist her to forget her sister’s jealousy or at least reconcile her hurt feelings?