Here we go again

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-11-2005
Here we go again
Wed, 07-31-2013 - 11:29pm

About 6 weeks ago I got hurt on my job.{I've been working for a company that has the VA contract for all of WA,OR & ID, so I am doing para transit work} I love my job. I was pushing a 100% disable veteran who weighs over 450lbs up a hill at Seattle VA hospital, my left knee when pop & I've been in pain since. Been off work this entire time. Been doing PT, after all this time my knee is still swollen up & painful. I'm not using crutches now, but it looks like I need surgery on it. I guess DH told MIL what's going on, MIL called me & told me to just suck it up & go back to work. WTH?? I can't walk without limping let alone pushing wheelchairs around, on top of that I'm not allowed to do stairs.  PT asked me if I could get a exercise ball {I'm doing 3 exercises that I really need it for} instead of just letting go pick one up dh called MIL & asked her if I could borrow hers. From what he said, she wasnt real sure about allowing me to use it, but said ok.  I went by this afternoon to get it, I get this 30 minute lecture from her how I'm faking being injured. Hello? Really? Not sure how she can make claims like that, I mean PT & Dr is measuring my knee each week {they measure both of them, so they know how swollen it still is} but ok. I didn't argue with her, but I honestly wanted to punch the wall this afternoon. Why is it I let her get to me? It ticks me off that she thinks I'm being lazy or whatever, but I'm not faking it. It's just stupid that I'm giving her this power. Wish dh would just keep his mouth shut. I didn't ask or want her OP of what's going on in my life. 

~~Sam stitches well with others, runs with scissors in her pocket. Cheerful and stupid.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-16-2008
Mon, 08-05-2013 - 8:19pm

I am sorry you are going through this, but really it is an issue with your DH rahter than with your MIL.  He should have stood up for you and/or keep his mouth shut, as you wished he had.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-19-2008
Wed, 08-07-2013 - 9:40am

Hi Sam,

I guess I don't understand why you didn't speak up to your mil?  People do not have the right to treat you this way.  If she calls you a liar (which is what she basically is doing) then tell her that you are not lying and that she needs to stop being so rude.  End of story.  The reason she is getting to you and that you are so mad is that you've allowed her to treat you in this manner.  I've long since stopped waiting and hoping that my DH will do what I need him to do to honor our marriage and stand up for me.  He does and I'm happy about that - but the truth is, the best thing you can do for yourself is to stand up for yourself.  Your mil has been taught by you that she can get away with it and so she continues.  

Personally, I would have told her to kiss my behind and walked out (limping and all) gone and bought my own exercise ball and not allowed her in my pressence until she apologized.  Then and only then will change come for you.  If you don't do this then you might as well accept that she is going to threat you any way you let her.

Avatar for jamblessedthree
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-23-2001
Mon, 08-26-2013 - 8:35am

So sorry to read of your injury.  Let your MIL comments slide, they mean nothing if that's all she's saying.  Frankly, that sounds like something my own MIL would say though, she pretty much lives her life to the premise that life sucks, I can't imagine living the way she does or raising kids that way either but she has and it has led to the bitter self she is today.  I have removed myself from her completely, She stays in touch with ONE of our children through facebook and that's it.  She has done so much harm to me and my family it's sickening.   I don't know how old your children are but I've had to balance a lot of her bads with good even if I have to stretch my imagination for the good, Lol.  She will always be family b/c I am married to her son but don't let your own pull you down.