How do you cope/manage with a narcissistic MIL?

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-14-2011
How do you cope/manage with a narcissistic MIL?
2
Wed, 09-14-2011 - 2:03pm
My husband comes from a family of 4 children – he is the youngest. He has 2 older sisters Miranda & Catherine and an older brother Mark. The daughters are treated like the golden children and the sons are treated like crap. There has been a lot of tension in this family. It used to let it really upset and bother me, drag me down and consume my thoughts. My sister in law feels much the same as I do – maybe worse because they have a little son – Caleb who continually gets ignored or overshadowed by the favorite, Jenna (Catherine’s 5 year old daughter) for me it has been effective to cut off contact which is a bit tricky considering we all live in a small town. I mean - I have to literally drive by the daughters apartments (which my MIL & FIL bought so the girls wouldn’t be living at home with them anymore) and his parents place twice a day – (to and from work) Recently the sisters, wanted to have a meeting with just the brothers (not us wives – which we felt was disrespectful but let it go) to make things right, so they went to hear their sisters out. But instead of trying to make things right and take ownership and responsibility for their actions they tried to emotionally manipulate Mark & Derek and tell them how bad they had it and that they were just doing the best they could. There has been a lot of tension even surrounding the kids (Caleb & Jenna) because my MIL always has Jenna. (Catherine is a single mom who works 30hrs a week) anyways my MIL picks Jenna up unnecessarily from daycare everyday but hasn’t seen Caleb (who also now goes to daycare and his parents both work FT) for nearly 6 weeks. This is just one of the many examples unfair, favoritism – that has now not only been passed down to the kids but to the grandchildren…. We have sat down as a family and have confronted some of the big issues we have faced (several times) and have tried talking & listening, yelling, emailing, met with a pastor who tried to counsel but at the end of it all my MIL has no idea what the problem is? And doesn’t understand why everyone can’t just get along? Aren’t well just one great big happy family?
What should do we do? What is fair? What is the right thing to do?
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-14-2004
Thu, 09-15-2011 - 5:13am

My advice would be to quit expecting something that isn't going to happen.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-14-2011
Thu, 09-15-2011 - 6:34pm
Wow!! You have been through so much!! Thank-you for your response advice and encouraging words!!