inlaws and young children

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-26-2011
inlaws and young children
10
Mon, 09-26-2011 - 12:02pm

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-26-2011
Mon, 09-26-2011 - 5:34pm

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-13-2009
Mon, 09-26-2011 - 5:45pm
I think you're overprotective, and seeking to punish his parents because of lack of contact before you had kids.

If that's all you got, then yes to your "nuts" question.

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-19-2004
Mon, 09-26-2011 - 5:57pm

I am sooo jealous that you have il's who want to be w/ your kids.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-14-2004
Mon, 09-26-2011 - 11:43pm

Discipline is not a grandparent's job, so I am not surprised that your inlaws would let your child do what he wants.

Community Leader
Registered: 05-19-2008
Wed, 09-28-2011 - 11:42am

mombl,

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-26-2011
Wed, 09-28-2011 - 12:30pm

Thank you for an honest opinion.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-13-2009
Thu, 09-29-2011 - 2:43pm
<< I don't think you are nuts and honestly there is NOTHING wrong with being over protective.>> Yes, sometimes one can be too overprotective. If the grandparents are never, ever allowed to be around their grandchildren without mom's supervision, there is a good possibility a strong bond won't be built between the grandparents and kids. And then one day, she might be back complaining that the grandparents don't interact more with their kids, and they pay more attention to the other grandchildren (with whom a stronger bond is formed.) When there is no fear the children will be hurt (which is what the OP said), then it is not normal, or ok, to not let them be together without mom standing over them supervising. Personally, I find it ridiculous behavior.

 

Avatar for deenow17
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-12-2004
Sat, 10-01-2011 - 12:23pm
Not sure if you will read this but here is my view as a grandparent & an overly protective Mommy.

My SD was a terrible father & still is. I don't blame his kids for having almost nothing to do with him. He & Mom have been married for over 35 yrs & we have never been even friends as he wanted me out of their lives until I had kids. However, he was a great Grandfather to my kids. I don't know what your ILs did to you or your DH but I'm sure, it's not as bad as my SD's behaviour. He was married to my Mom when his ex died leaving his kids at 16 & 18. He refused to allow them to live with him & he stopped making child support payments to his DS. This DS sued him as an adult & got the back child support he was owed. These kids were left on their own with a $10k life insurance policy which the 18 yr old blew on drugs/alcohol. They were taken in by a friend of their Mom who cared for them & straightened them out. This is the same man who spent hours teaching my kids to fish, played badminton every time the kids asked, who dressed up a the Easter Bunny to entertain them & who taught them every card game imaginable. My kids know his faults and adore him. I can't stand him but I take care of all of his medical needs now that he has dementia because of his relationship with my kids.

Poor parents and ILs can still be great grandparents.

Dee
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-14-2004
Mon, 10-03-2011 - 12:00am

>>>

Community Leader
Registered: 05-19-2008
Mon, 10-03-2011 - 12:19pm

Sorry but I have to respectfully disagree.