In-laws Mummsie & Daddy

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-17-2007
In-laws Mummsie & Daddy
18
Tue, 04-17-2007 - 10:51am

I am to visit my in-laws, who I have had little no contact with since my last visit. At that last visit 3 yrs. ago their daughther was having an agrument with her parents that had my name dragged into and resulted in my character being questioned. Everyone denies everything and my husband has taken the we-just-don't know approach. Now I am to return to seeing them and a feud will start if I don't call them Mummsie and Daddy. My husband claims neutrality, but makes a case for me to resume calling them Mummsie and Daddy. We will stay in a hotel seperated from the family or I can stay at their home calling them what they wish. If I call them by their first names I will probably suffer a passive-aggressive retailation and be ostracized. This trip will be expensive and out of the country.

Any advice?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 02-02-2007
Tue, 04-17-2007 - 10:59am
They want you to call them Mummsie and Daddy? That's really weird. What's wrong with their first names? My DH calls my parents by their first names and I know a lot of people who do that. If they find that disrespectful, how about calling them Mr and Mrs. whatever their last name is?
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-21-2003
Tue, 04-17-2007 - 12:03pm
Mumsie and daddy? That is the stupidest thing Ive ever heard. Call them what you are comfortable with. If that is their first names then so be it. If something that petty is enough to set them off then maybe you should let your husband go alone.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-11-2005
Tue, 04-17-2007 - 1:25pm

My newest MIL asked me to call her "Mom", I told her I had mom & she has passed away (and MIL could never fill my mom's shoes either). So I still call her by her nickname, then she asked me to call her "Mother B", I told her when the other DIL started calling her that then I would call her that. That was 6 years ago, I'm still calling her by her nickname.

~Sam

~~Sam stitches well with others, runs with scissors in her pocket. Cheerful and stupid.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2007
Tue, 04-17-2007 - 2:02pm


How about you just call them Mr. and Mrs. Barking Mad.

Bridget :)

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-19-2004
Tue, 04-17-2007 - 2:39pm

I can understand Mum/Mam/Mom & Dad. But Mummsie & Daddy? What are they tripping on?

I'm with you on this one.



“It’s sometimes hard to listen without judgement but people do appreciate being heard.” aka Sam Spade, 23rd August 2007
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-17-2006
Tue, 04-17-2007 - 3:35pm

You might ask your husband if you and he are sister and brother, sharing the same "Mummsie and Daddy" or adult spouses with your own sets of parents?

I suggest the hotel, and if the passive-aggressive BS starts, go enjoy the amenities the hotel offers. Spa, gym, pool, movie theatre, etc. Take in some of the touristy opportunities of the place you are visiting.

Make sure that you are on the rental car agreement as a driver, or know how to use the public transport in the area. Heck, call a taxi if need be and leave with a *CHEERY* "See you when you're feeling better!"

Let him know that he can enjoy his trip with his wife or with the passive-aggressive "Mummsie and Daddy".

Or, let him go alone to kiss up to his Mummsie and Daddy while you stay an adult at home!

Good luck to you, whatever you decide.

ilve2read

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-08-2007
Tue, 04-17-2007 - 11:07pm
Remind dh that they ARE NOT YOUR PARENTS and that you will not call them mom and dad.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-17-2007
Wed, 04-18-2007 - 11:31am
Thanks, I'm just going to have to be firm. I will suffer some passive-aggressive response (they may be overly formal and removed). Appreciate your input.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-17-2007
Wed, 04-18-2007 - 11:37am
Yeah my DH calls my mom by her first name as well (lucky him). According to the in-law family this is how they do things. I feel like an idiot call these people that. I risk starting another family war because of this. If I call them by Mr. & Mrs. they will also call me Ms. I'll just try to deal. Thanks for your advice.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-17-2007
Wed, 04-18-2007 - 11:39am
Thanks for saying that. DH thinks I should foreit the battle to win the "war of peace" Sounds crazy to me and thinking more and more of backing out.

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