In-laws think I don't welcome them

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-20-2004
In-laws think I don't welcome them
23
Thu, 12-21-2006 - 10:38pm

I'm double posting tonight...two things happening around one event.
The one here...

My husband and in-laws think I don't want them to stay at our house Christmas Eve b/c I was shocked when I found out they were (hubby didn't tell me) and I had invited my parents b/c we aren't doing Christmas w/ them this year (we alternate years) and I wanted them to experience Santa with the kids.

Well, according to my husband - who is INCREDIBLY angry with me and it may end my marriage - my in-laws, esp. my FIL are so angry (and he never gets mad). And I've effectively been uninvited to Christmas w/ his family. I want to call his parents and explain the miscommunciation that happened on a grand scale - specifically that my husband didn't tell them what we'd come up with for sleeping arrangements like I thought he was going to and therefore they just said forget it. Husband says don't call that nothing I say is going to change their minds...but I just have a hard time letting this go. I love his parents - while I have issues with MIL - and they are the best grandparents, but I feel like I'm being thrown under the bus.

Any advice? Should I let it go? If not, what do I say? I have to say that I'M HURT that no one is giving me the benefit of the doubt after knowing me for 12 years.


Melissa

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-15-2003
Tue, 12-26-2006 - 3:23pm
{{{{{HUGS}}}}} and prayers for you!!! It might be a good idea to be sure the counselor is a man -- I think husbands are more receptive if the neutral third party professional is a man.
Avatar for cl_mugalug
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 12-26-2006 - 4:28pm
Or find a man and woman team. That way he can see it from both sides.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-15-2003
Tue, 12-26-2006 - 4:42pm
I didn't think about that possibility. Good idea.

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