Living with One's Inlaws

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-15-2011
Living with One's Inlaws
8
Thu, 09-15-2011 - 5:51pm

I like to study human history and have noticed that in many cultures it was customary for new brides to move in with her husband AND his parents.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-11-2005
Fri, 09-16-2011 - 2:47am

I don't live with the in laws, but dh & I live in a house that dh & MIL co-own. I feel don't that this is my home {we do own a much larger house that is OURS that we are renting out} I'm not allowed to paint rooms here with out MIL's ok. {I love the greens, sage, forest greens} and wanted to turn the extra bedroom/bathroom into my haven {bathroom a sage, bedroom even lighter sage} MIL pitch a fit & I didn't get to go thru with my plans. I didn't want to move back over here, my dh & MIL made the decidesion without me. I was out on a trip to visit my sister over my spring break & came home to find 1/4 of my house moved into a house with a leaking roof, dry rot in walls. Nice huh? The house wasn't even liveable & dh moved us into it.

I went thru our kitchen things, bedding & bath towels & packed up that was everything before I married dh. If MIL kicked me out I have 1/3 of the way packed. I don't trust her.

~~Sam stitches well with others, runs with scissors in her pocket. Cheerful and stupid.
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-15-2011
Fri, 09-16-2011 - 7:58am

OMG!

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-19-2010
Fri, 09-16-2011 - 9:33am

I come from a culture where women are expected to live with their husband and his parents after marriage. Although, I was raised in the US, when my DH and I decided to get married, his mother asked him if we would consider living with them at least for the first couple of months. I asked my husband what he wanted to do and he said that he wanted to respect his mother's wishes and "try it out" but that we could always leave if the situation didn't work.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-11-2005
Fri, 09-16-2011 - 1:59pm
No kids together. DH is a bit of a MOMMA'S boy at times. DH decided "we needed counseloring" WWWWWAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH! Guess who I'm taking to counseloring w/us? MIL & my sister. Oh yes they decide things that should be between dh & I. When we were living in "our" house I had been going over our tax stuff on the formal dinning room table, I go to the bathroom & come back to find her in the house (dh gave her a key) she's going thur our business/tax records.
~~Sam stitches well with others, runs with scissors in her pocket. Cheerful and stupid.
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-15-2011
Sun, 09-18-2011 - 11:31pm

Asiandil is right, it's important to have a supportive husband.

Avatar for deenow17
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-12-2004
Mon, 09-19-2011 - 7:56am
My DD lived with her inlaws for the 1st 3 yrs of her marriage & it almost ended the marriage even though the inlaws weren't home a lot. They interjected themselves into everything. If DD & SIL were having a discussion & voices got a bit loud, they received a lecture on fighting & how it wasn't allowed it the inlaws' house. There was no privacy but it helped them save the money for their home. Only problem was that DD won't see inlaws for about 6 mths after they moved out as she was so fed up with them. Things are better now.
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-15-2011
Mon, 09-19-2011 - 10:49am

Also, there's just something about being around one's parents that makes people feel like they're still children, and no doubt that's not good for any marriage.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-04-2010
Fri, 09-30-2011 - 9:24am

OMG. I hope with all I am that you find a way to put your foot down. Gently down if it must be so, but DOWN. You need some ground to stand on, and it sounds like you have none!