MIL and Baby and Day Care
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|Tue, 04-17-2012 - 11:14am|
MIL is driving me insane. Here is some background.
As most of you know, I have a 6 month old daughter. I was laid off from work on my due date. Initially I was really upset but then got over it as I realized it was a blessing in disguise and I would get time to focus on my daughter. DH and I decided that I should stay home for at least 6 months and then if I wanted to go back to work, we'd look at daycare options (and if I didn't want to go back to work at that point, it'd be fine and I could stay home for a bit longer.)
Throughout the first 5 months, MIL (she is a homemaker) insisted that I make time for her and the baby to spend time together so I tried. I told her to come over whenever. Well - bad idea. She would show up for fly by visits (30 minutes at a time) and then get upset if the baby was sleeping. Then she started calling and asking if baby was awake. I would say "She just woke up and should be awake for another two hours." MIL would decide to take 2 hours to get out of her house and act annoyed when baby fell asleep by the time she got here.
Then FIL and I talked and we came up with plan C: Out of the five days a week, we decided that she would come over on Tuesdays and Thursdays at my home and spend time with the baby. (That lasted a week - and then she would always make excuses that she had to get XYZ done so she wasn't going to come.) Despite this, she would still complain that she didn't get enough time with the baby. (She would complain more every time she saw pictures of the baby with my parents. I spend about 5 weeks with my parents on the west coast when the baby was 2-3 months old. My parents put aside their entire life to maximize time with the baby while we were there since its their first grandchild.)
So then we moved to plan D: DH asked her (as well as FIL) to stay with us a couple of days a week while FIL was at work. I offered to cook for them in the evenings so that we could all have dinner together as a familyif FIL didn't want to stay over (FIL owns his own business and works 2 miles from where we live.) MIL complained and said she would rather we come to her house because she has a bigger house (rather a mansion) while we live in a 2000 sq. ft house. DH, baby and I stayed with them for 2 weeks (she wanted us to stay for 5 weeks since I was staying with my parents for that long but DH put his foot down. His commute to work is extended by 30 more min each way since their house is farther from the city.)
Anyhow, month 6 was approaching and I started interviewing just to see what kinds of jobs were out there in this economy (and I didn't know how long it would take me to find a job that I liked and fit my criteria). Luckily I got two offers and one of them fit all of the criteria DH and I had discussed (hours, distance, flexibility, etc.) so I accepted the offer. MIL flipped out becuase this meant that I would have to find put the baby in day care.
She keeps saying "I will keep the baby" but her past behavior makes me feel very nervous. Once I start working, I can't deal with excuses. I need reliable daycare and not someone who will flake out on me. She keeps calling me everyday saying "What kind of mother are you? I sacrificed my career and everything to raise my three children so they can be raised right. I don't understand the kids these days. They're so obsessed with making $$$ that they don't realize what is right for their family."