MIL problem with a major twist
Find a Conversation
|Tue, 07-15-2014 - 1:52pm|
My husband has worked for the "family" business his whole life - his mom runs the business. His mom has never been fond of me
(for no reason other than i was married before) and i quit trying to bust my booty to build any sort of relationship with her (i think that she actually got a thrill out of seeing me try and try again with her to no avail - i realized there was nothing i could do, it was just her decision to not like me and there was nothing i could do about it - and nothing i did to cause it). I have accecpted that she just "tolerates" me and that is just fine with me - i am cordial around her. This is all "good" and acceptable until she tries to cause a problem in my marriage. She did this before and realized that it didnt break up our marriage so moved on to "bigger fish" (so to say). Well, my husband recently celebrated a birthday..... For his birthday she invited HIM on a vacation that the whole rest of the family was already going on - a 2 week europe vacation - so basically everyone was going EXCEPT ME - and her excuse for not inviting me was that hubby was going "as a birthday gift" (so, what it everyone else's b-day gift as well??? by the way, my b-day is next month!) I told my husband that i realize im not her favorite person, but ive never been excluded before and i was hurt..... i also asked him if there was a "problem" that i was unaware of..... he said no. He said he only accepted the trip because it was for his "birthday" - also, while he is away on this 2 week trip, he is missing our 10 YEAR anniversary - he gets hom a few days later. He realizes that his mom has done quite a few RUDE/HURTFUL things to me, but he stays "neutral" on it because he works with her/says he has to get along with her...... there is no "sitting down and having an adult talk with her about it" (because her way is always the RIGHT way, everyone else is wrong or weird) - but im to the point that i dont think he gets a "get out of jail free card" anymore because he works for her. Basically, she keeps doing rude hurtful things because she CAN and she gets away with it where he is concerned. She is the type that cant seperate work and personal/family issues - so hubby will have a very tense work environment if he says or does anything that ticks her off (in other words, she will let a personal problem interfere with work). I say that letting this one "slide" is only setting us up for more problems in the very near future (she will invite him on holiday travel, etc and exclude me all the while pressuring him to attend family holiday functions w/o me! - she has done it before - a long while back, but now i think she will start up again since he went to europe with them w/o me) I see her stopping nothing short of saying that every upcoming "thanksgiving, xmas, easter trip, etc" is a b-day gift, etc. so that she has an "excuse" to invite only him. Any advice on how to handle this situation considering they work together???? Thanks for any and all advice!