My husband doesn't want anything to do with his family?
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|Fri, 11-22-2013 - 2:22am|
I've been married to my husband for 5 years. We have not seen nor spoken to his mother or any of his family in most of that time. In the beginning, his mom was very nasty to me. She ran me down to everybody who would listen (she was nice as pie to my face), she was always trying to manipulate me to get my husband to do what she wanted, disrespected me constantly and tried to interfere in every aspect of our lives. My husband had finally had enough of it all and cut her out of our lives and it's been that way ever since; until recently. His parents are divorced and his dad is distant; he has nothing to do with anybody and is not interested in anybody besides himself. His mom is clingy, controlling, manipulative and unstable. She has been emotionally abusive to my husband throughout his entire life even though she tried to hide it under the guise of "caring" about him. She never let him make a decision and controlled every move he made or tried to make.
We recently decided to reach out to his mom via Facebook to see if there was any hope for a reconciliation. We've talked to her back and forth on FB and the telephone and it's pretty apparent that she hasn't changed. She's still emotionally unstable, childish and controlling. She still does not like me (although she tolerates me because she knows her son will cut her off again if she doesn't) at all so, of course, she's nice as can be...although underneath, that hatred and resentment is still simmering.
The problem is, now she wants to come visit us. We live in a different state than she does. I think she's under the impression that my husband is as eager and happy to reconnect as she is and he's not at all. The only reason he went along with any of this was for me and the only reason I wanted to do this is because I felt that he should have some relationship with his mother; no matter how destructive she is. He really doesn't want to see her and doesn't want anything to do with her. She is still the same and hasn't changed. She treats my husband like a 3 year old and posts "Mom loves you" crap on his Facebook which humiliates him to no end. I honestly don't think she comprehends the fact that he's not a little boy anymore; he's a grown man. Seeing as she hasn't changed, we're really tempted to just cut the ties again and leave them that way permanently.
Any opinions/advice welcome.