My mother-in-law
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My mother-in-law
| Tue, 02-27-2007 - 10:36am |
My mother-in-law just got back from a cruise that she has taken for the past 3 years. I do not mean to sound ungrateful, but she has brought me back a beach bag each time with the name of one of the areas she visited. I don't necessarialy dislike the bags, but really don't need any more. The big problem is Longaberger baskets. My mother-in-law loves these and has at least 100. For b-days and Christmas she always gives me one or two. These baskets are beautiful but I am just not a basket person. I now have over 20 and am running out of ways to use them. I even told her that I have more baskets then I can use and she stated that she changes hers out from time to time. I would so much rather have a set of sheets, bath towels, cookware, etc. Even just a gift certificate for dinner somewhere but no more baskets. She is getting ready to go visit the factory, again, she goes at least twice a year and take all the female members of the family, my sister-in-law, my 3 nieces, and my daughter, which is all well and good becuase this is the kind of thing they like to do. BTW, it is about a 4 1/2 hour drive. I don't want to go and politely told her so, now I seem to be the bad person in the family. Any suggestions on how the handle the whole situation?

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I can relate to your situation. Often I am far too nice when it comes to giving in for the sake of feeling guilty.
When it comes to the trip to Dresden, I would just kindly tell MIL that you really don't think you are going to be able to make it this year but that you really appreciate the invitation and you hope they have a wonderful trip. I would never actually say that you didn't want to go, because that will definitely hurt MILs feelings. Just allude that the trip won't work for you. You shouldn't have to go just because MIL wants you too. There is a difference between being nice and going with the flow and constantly feeling like you are obligated to attend a function that you really don't want to go to.
Good Luck!
I agree. It may seem petty to some people, but not to me. One of the most manipulative and controlling things about some women (not just MILs) is that they expect you to want and collect and desire the same things they want. And if you don't, they act like you've destroyed their self-worth. We women MUST take a stand with one another and say, "Hey, you know what? I don't really care for that. But I'm glad it makes you happy...now I have a good idea what to get you for your birthday. Let's find something else to do together."
I'm sorry, but this is the reason why women get married and lose their identities after a few years. They lose it at the basket outlet. LOL!
Hi trose.
I'm coming in a little late but wanted to add that since you do things with her anyway and want to sit this one out, answer anything to do with *you* going with something like, "you go have fun, we'll do something together when you get back (or name something specific if one is already planned)"
With the cruise bags, how about you give the old ones to your local thrift store and use the current one as a special "outings with MIL" bag? That way you are using her gift but by giving away the old ones when she gives you the new one you eliminate the big stack or box of MIL's cruise bags.
As for the baskets, maybe pick out two or three that you like (or dis-like the least) and either offer the others back to her (maybe to trade at the factory?) if you think she would not be offended, or sell them on e-bay.
As a gift-giving day comes near try the "MIL, I saw the cutest set of sheets at ___store the other day. They'd look so cute on our bed" hints, if you haven't already tried that.
Good luck to you, however it turns out. And do be grateful that she is just a little annoying and that you can trust her to take care of your daughter. Hey, it could be a lot worse!
ilve2read
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