My sister-in-law has no boundaries and is now asking me for money.
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|Tue, 02-18-2014 - 8:20pm|
My brother and sister-in-law divorced a couple of years ago, mainly do to my brother becoming an alcoholic. My brother lost his home and his job, basically everything. He is living in a "sober living" house while he is in recovery and looking for another job. He literally doesn't have a pot to pee in at this point. It's such a sad situation for everyone. They have two beautiful girls ages 7 and 11. My SIL has been fortunate enough to have parents who have been able to help her out SUBSTANTIALLY...giving her and the girls a home to live in (mortgage free), she has no car payment, and her father or boyfriend handle most of the handywork that needs to be done. I'm very grateful that they are taken care of in such a way. Also, my SIL has been teaching school for 15 years and has a masters degree. My SIL called me right before Christmas asking my husband and I to help her out with "Santa'" this year. I'm pretty sure the 11 year old doesn't believe in Santa anymore. I asked what they wanted and she went on about wanting UGGS, Northface Jackets, etc...I told her I'd be happy to buy them one "big" gift, but that I'd like it to be from me not Santa. She got tearfull and started saying how "these girls didn't ask for this" "this is not their fault...etc etc" I broke down and bought them each UGGS along with some other smaller gifts. I had no idea that they were also getting a bicycle, trampoline and an American Girl Doll EACH...just to mention a FEW of the gifts they recieved. The girls also have Iphones and Ipads...they are NOT hurting. My SIL called me again tonight...once again in tears saying that she's hurting financially. She went on an on about how my brother owes her lots of money in child support, and how this is not the girls fault and once again how they didn't ask for any of this. UGHH!!! I told her as nicely as I could that while I'm very sorry she's " hurting financially" I'm not going to be able to help her. I really feel like she's milking me and also my mother for every last dime. I told her that Al-Anon has been very helpful to me and maybe it could help her out as well, as far as questions the girls have about their Dad. As far as the financial side of things, am I crazy to think that it's way out of line for her to continuously try andmake me (and my mom) feel guilted into giving her money? My husband and I LOVE spending time with the girls and ask for them often (we live 2 hours away). My SIL usually says that they "just don't like to be away from me" UNLESS she has a date or some reason when she NEEDS us to keep them...then they magically have no problem being away from her. It's all so frustrating. I would just like some honest opinions here and maybe some suggestions on how to deal with her?