OPINION'S ON GRANDPARENT RIGHTS

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-07-2007
OPINION'S ON GRANDPARENT RIGHTS
64
Thu, 03-29-2007 - 11:22am
How would you feel or deal with Grandparents who threatend to sue you for grandparent rights/visitation ? I have major inlaw problems and this is one of the threats that they tried to control us with when it came down to us limiting the time our child spent with the grandparents. These people are crazy they lie , manipulate and try to control you . My husband has not had a great relationship with his parents or his sister . I do not trust them with our child . My husband asked his mother why they were threating us with this and she said because we made her mad , not that she missed her grandchild or couldnt stand it that she couldnt spend time with them . I dont believe that any court should allow people like this the right for visitation . It only allows these people more control over your marriage and the upbringing of your children . Her answer should have been because i love my grandchild and i want a relationship with them. In my opinion it is being done to show you i will always find a way to get what i want and there is a law for me to do so . Please give me any advice or input as to what you think about this law or what you would do if this happened to you . Thanks for listening and Have a wonderful day !

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-09-2006
Thu, 03-29-2007 - 11:29am
First thing first, there is no such thing as "grandparents rights". The courts ruled that grandparents don't have rights trumping the parents rights to determain whom their child/ren does and does not interact with.
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iVillage Member
Registered: 02-28-2007
Thu, 03-29-2007 - 11:30am

If they are threatening you, I would not let them have any access to my child. They have no right to threaten you or your DH, you are the parents. I believe from a Supreme Court ruling that Grandparents DO NOT have rights in most cases. They have to show neglect and harm, etc...

Check out these websites and do research on your own; however, I bet they are just trying to use that as a scare tactic.

http://www.pbs.org/newshour/extra/features/jan-june00/grandparents.html

http://www.divorcenet.com/states/nationwide/grandparents_rights_custody_visitation

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-15-2004
Thu, 03-29-2007 - 11:38am

It is very rare in an intact family situation that grandparents would get any visitation.

Catrina now
Avatar for mom2danjam
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 03-29-2007 - 11:49am

Oh people still try it, but more and more, the GP "rights" thing is losing steam from what I have heard/read.

Regardless, the very first time my ILS or my own mom threatens me with their "GP RIghts" is the last time they will see us or the kids. I will not tolerate being threatened. Ever.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-07-2007
Thu, 03-29-2007 - 12:11pm
Thanks so much for your advice and websites on this matter . I love this board , you guys are great !!
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-08-2006
Thu, 03-29-2007 - 1:17pm

Grandparents have NO rights to their grandchild/ren. Grandparenting is a privilage,rather than a right. So, therefore you have nothing to worry about. You can tell your il's they have no rights. Let them waste their money on a lawyer to tell them that.

You'll have the last laugh on this one.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-16-2007
Thu, 03-29-2007 - 4:04pm

Unless they have power of attorney of your child/ren, then they have no rights what-so-ever. Mil made a threat to you and I would not allow my child to visit her gparent's once they made a verbal threat to me. She can sit there and be mad all she want's, your concern is not to please her but to take care of you child and dh and protect them from controlling people like her.

Good Luck. I would laugh in mil's face for even thinking she could do that.

Avatar for cl_mugalug
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 03-30-2007 - 1:23am

Grandparents have NO rights anymore. Here is the link to the case of Troxel vs. Granville.

http://supct.law.cornell.edu/supct/html/99-138.ZS.html

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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-30-2006
Fri, 03-30-2007 - 3:37pm
Sounds like MY in-laws, they sound like they have a piece of driftwood stuck up their bungholes. But seriously, yes, there is a law protecting the rights of grandparents visiting their grandkids, BUT if the child's primary caregiver decides that it is NOT in the child's best interest to be away from ANYONE, then, as far as I am aware of (you should probably get a family law attorney to confirm this), you have every right to deny anyone visitation ALONE with the child, except for the other caregiver, and that right can only be overridden by a family court judge. And a family court judge will almost ALWAYS side with the child's mother on almost any issue, except in cases of neglect or abuse, and even THEN, sometimes judges give the kids back. So, if you could find any way possible to have them, ON RECORD, admitting that the only reason they did this was retaliation against you and not so they could spend more time with their grandchild (hint: a voice recorder goes for really cheap at walmart or an electronics store), you've won the case. I really hope u win. The g-parents sound like a couple of selfish, manipulative jerks. Don't forget, the grandparents may have their measly little visitation rights, but YOU have FAAARRRRR more rights than they do, and need to testify, in court, how manipulative and selfish they have been. I was the subject of a similar suit in 1985. I was 2 ; my sister was only 3 months old. My biological mother and father were both alcoholics/drug addicts/deadbeats. And I wouldn't believe that to be true unless I had read the hospital records from my sister's birth and the court documents. The hospital records stated, very loud and clear, that not only was my sister born at 32 weeks gestation, the levels of amphetamine in my mother's blood were so high that my sister was stillborn, her lungs full of blood, and was legally dead for 5 minutes until they finally revived her. That, and a bunch of different bad things that both my mom and dad did, led my grandparents (dad's parents) to go to court to try and get custody of my sister and I. In January of '85 (sis was born in may), they began keeping records of all of my parents' neglect and abuse of alcohol and drugs, as well as the physical abuse I sustained from my mother. I was taken to the E.R. several times in that one year for miscellaneous, unexplained injuries (one major head injury), as well as neglect of my general health care (I had medicaid, she just didn't feel like taking me to the doctor), resulting in chronic ear infections (2 sets of tubes couldn't even fix the damage that was already done) that have left me with vertigo and hearing loss in both ears. I can still hear, of course, just not very well. Anyway, the point is, the RECORDS that my g-parents kept just in those 5 months were MORE than enough to get custody of us. I thank God every single day for them, I thank Him for them literally saving our lives by taking us away from them. Some people do not deserve to raise children, or even be AROUND them. I suggest that you start the record-keeping, and I promise you, it will only HELP your case for denying them visitation rights. It sounds like they are using your child as an object to be won. And that's just wrong. Hope this helps.
God bless,
Sheree
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-11-2005
Sun, 04-01-2007 - 10:44pm

The Superior Court says there is no such thing as Grandparents rights: Case is Troxel:

Your IL's are full of hot air plain & simple. As long as your married to your spouse there is no way your IL's can get visition rights to the kids.

~~Sam stitches well with others, runs with scissors in her pocket. Cheerful and stupid.

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