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|Tue, 04-01-2003 - 9:11am|
I have been married for two years have two boys Ryan (11) and Kyler (1).Ryan and I moved 300 miles away from our very close family and friends.Ryan is from a previous relationship.Before I got married I told dh that I expected Ryan to be treated the same as the baby(at the time I was already a few weeks pregnant)and he agreed.Well when we first got here his mother and sister (father diesd years ago)were nice to us and led me to beleive that they were intrested in getting close to ryan such as doing things with him attending his sporting events and showing him around the area.When my parents came to visit before the baby was born they acted like they were excited about going to ryan's football games and they couldnt wait for the baby so they could babysit and so on.Well to make a real long story short they have done nothing at all but make my son and I feel as we are not a part of their family.I have had them over for dinner and the mother has said over and over again how lucky I am to have her son,she said to dh now that you have your own family you wont have time for us anymore,she said go get my son some coffee I want to see you wait on him needless to say I told her she will be waiting along time before she sees that!I have cooked many dinners for them yet never have they invited us to their home for dinner.The whole time I was preg. They knew i didnt know anyone in the area and they would call just about every weekend and ask my dh for a ride to the mall but never asked me to go ,never called me to see how things were going nothing.Well the baby was born and my family came and stayed and the sister and mother came to see the baby and acted like they were excited and talked about babysitting well when my family left they didnt call or even come see the baby.My son was born with infant reflux he cried all the time and never slept.One week was the worst week of my life I didnt sleep for days the baby was crying I had no one to help because i dont know anyone here my family is 300 miles away I thought I was going to have a break down!I know that dh mother and sis knew the baby was giving me a hard time (the mother lives right around the corner and does not work)they never called once to ask me if I needed any help but they did call at least 3 times for rides(neither of them drive)the sister has a boyfriend of 11 years but yet they called here for rides .They never even called and asked ryan to do anything.My mother had to come to help me because I ended up with broncitus.The most they have done is buy diapers here and there they do buy gifts for the boys birthday and christmas.Kyler just had his 1st birthday and my family came he invited them but they were busy so when my family left dh brought kyler to his mother house and they bought the baby way way more than they ever bought ryan.I told my husband that was wrong and he knows it is too.My husband has gone there and told them many of times to please get to know the boys so they can watch them for us so we can have some alone time but they never do.For my husbands birthday they gave him money and gifts for mine they mailed me a card and thats it.They didnt even call to say happy birthday.My husband does everything for his mother,takes her food shopping every week,mows her yard ,shovels her snow,takes her to doc. appointments if she calls for anything he is there for her.They never call to see the baby or ryan the only way they see them is if my dh brings the kids there which isnt that often.They only call here if they need something never to see how things are going.I cant take it anymore!!!I told my husband that I want nothing to do with them at all.I called my mil and tried to find out if there was something wrong and told her that all of this was hurting my dh but nothing ever became of that either so I gave up.I have anger towards my dh i feel that he should have went to them and said what is wronge with you people you dont treat my family that way and i also feel that he should tell them to go take a hike!Here he has begged them to take part in our children and they basicly tell him to go fly a kite but yet he should run to their every need?I feel like this is going to destroy our marriage.I cant get rid of the anger everytime the mother calls for something and he goes it makes me sick and alot of the time we end up fighting.Please help me am I wronge to have this anger?What should I have done or what should I do?