The Possibility of Moving to the Same Town As My In-Laws...Making Me NUTS!

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-12-2007
The Possibility of Moving to the Same Town As My In-Laws...Making Me NUTS!
8
Mon, 03-12-2012 - 2:50pm

My husband got laid off from

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-12-2012

Doxie, you have posted the same questions over and over. You keep getting answers and suggestions but you never take them Then you come back and ask the same things again. If you wont take people's advice why do you keep asking? I know this same issue was brought up the last time you posted here.

Avatar for deenow17
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-12-2004
How much longer is your DD in high school? Is it possible for a compromise in the short term? You live where you are & your DH stays with his Mother during the week. Then comes home on the weekend. Many of the people I work with do this if kids are going to be impacted by a move that can be delayed for a period of time.

As for you & your DH, you need counseling since you don't see things the same way regarding his family. You are asking to end your marriage if you move & resent it. You may decide that moving is the right decision if you try to talk it out between the two of you with a counselor.

Dee
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-12-2007

You are so right. Guess I just wanted to come here as a place to vent...nothing more.

Avatar for elc11
Community Leader
Registered: 06-16-1998

You haven't posted about your MIL recently so don't worry about stepping on anyone's toes, and you'll notice that the person who said something had just registered/made her first post with that member name so I think you can feel fine about venting here.

To some degree you may have to "suck it up" since this is the only job offer your husband has received. But I agree with you that living in a different town within a reasonable commute to the new job is not too much to ask. If your dd was about to enter her senior year of HS I would advise you to keep her in that HS but since she will have 3 more years until graduation she should be okay to change schools. Sure she'll miss her old friends etc but the family needs a steady income.

As another member suggested, you and your dh could benefit from professional marriage counseling. Your dh needs to understand how and why you feel like he is putting his mother's feelings and wishes before yours; and you need to understand why he acts as he does. And you both need to learn about making and enforcing boundaries with his family, as a couple. The problems with his family are nothing new, the distance allowed you two to not have to deal with the the issues in the past--but if you are going to move near them then it must get dealt with or you will be miserable and may become resentful and angry towards your husband...which obviously would negatively affect your marriage.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-21-2008

You are more than welcome to vent, doxie -- that's what we're here for.

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Community Leader
Registered: 05-19-2008

Chloe,

Someone who is talking about a move - how to deal with her feelings and frustrations towards her DH, etc. can't possibly be limited to just a few times asking the same questions - can she?

Community Leader
Registered: 05-19-2008

Doxie,

To answer your question based on my own opinions - I think you have extremely valid reasons for not making this decision lightly.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-12-2007

Thank you so much for your kind and understanding response. Thankfully, my husband has several opportunities that he's working on that could keep us here. So, I'm hoping and praying that one of them