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|Tue, 12-31-2013 - 3:14pm|
Same stuff different day applies in a big way to my in law situation. My husband's brother & SIL seem to think that everything is one big competition for attention to the point where they haven't actually made any big decisions in their life because they wanted to but rather make the decisions based on what's going on in our life. From houses to when to have kids, everything is based around us.
We bought our first house. They moved into a new house 4 months later that they started looking for when they found out we were looking in a higher price range than what they were living in. When we moved into our 2nd house, they couldn't move right away so their response was to be so hateful that I have finally had to block them on all technology (facebook, cell phone, email, etc.) and my husband's SIL called our in laws and asked them whose house was bigger.
Everyone of their kids was conceived with the idea of messing up a happy event for us (which has never worked by the way). When the happy event comes, they are usually the ones pouting because it didn't work but they don't seem to learn their lesson. Their firstborn was born right around our wedding after stating they were going to try to have a baby on our wedding day to "see who gets the attention". One week after our firstborn was born, we got the phone call that they were pregnant with their 2nd. With their 3rd, she tried to lie about their due date to say that they were so far along they had been pregnant and hadn't known it when we announced we were pregnant with our 2nd. That backfired because the baby #3's birthday proved her a liar to the whole family and proved once and for all who the one with the problem is. And finally, their 4th was born less than a year after our 3rd.
They consistently try to instigate problems, make either extremetly direct hateful comments towards us or hidden comment directed at us, and are overall hateful people. They act like everything is a big competition between our kids which infuriates me.
My problem comes in my husband's and my husband's families response to all of this. Their attitude seems to be "well that's just the way they are" so we are all supposed to accept it and pretend we don't know why they act the way they do. His parents have talked about their behavior many times and know that there is a problem but for the sake of "family peace" refuse to call them out on the way they act and were even teasing the BIL & SIL about #4 when our #3 came along.
My husband has a similar attitude in that he gets more annoyed by their behavior than his parents but only says stuff to them when their hatefulness is directed at him specifiically instead of just at me. I feel like I'm the scapegoat for "family peace" which is really just enabling their behavior.
I don't want to be like them where anything good happening in their life is devastating like they act with our good events but I'm fast to the point of being sick and tired of it and can feel myself getting angry and bitter at not just the BIL & SIL, but also the FIL & MIL, and my husband. He actually asked me when I complained about his family "it's still worth it right?" meaning the good in marrying him outweighing the bad of dealing with his family. I said yes, but I'm to the point where I feel like the answer should have been no. He lets it come between us because he gets pressure from his parents to "keep the family peace".
I'm not even sure what the right thing to do is in this situation. Any advice?