Avatar for lol_des
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-02-2003
Thu, 04-03-2003 - 12:12am
My MIL to be is an awful woman when our engagement was announced she informed my partner I wasn't the one for him like she gets to choose.

Well to go on she also used to tell me how great his past gf's were and how he loved one of there kids bla bla bla..

I think they use him for what he does for them (his family.)

I have broken up with him over this again and again...saying nobody would put up with this...

He sais he takes my side but he makes excuses for her sais...she suffers from depreshion bla bla. Well she sent a card to congradulate us on our engagement and enclosed was a guilt trip letted to her son...made me dislike her more)

Well to put it short she now wants to meet my family....crazy because they have seen her bef.....and they don'tlike the way she treats me nore do they want to have any sort of dinner with her at all.(she told my mum how sweet I was than back stabbed me next line)

So she picks this weekend to visit and my bf and I have a holiday planned so she invites herself along....well no way I tell my bf her or me on the holiday not both.

She visited him for a few days once and stayed for over a month...he supported her and she tries to take over the house...till he asked her to leave and she threw a tantrum. When I call him and she is there she buts into the conversation (HOW RUDE) and makes comments about the way he dresses acts what he does like he is a little boy at 30 etc.

Well I am studying social work ATM and I am reading a book Caring for people with problem behaviours. Ausmed Publications.

I advise everybody out there to read a book like this take communication classes like me and you will see that these ppl are just sick individuals that usualy need help (mental health issue help)

It also explains how they manipulate you and what they do and tactics to get them to behave.

MIL to be called said all bout our wedding how she was just about running it so I used what I learnt in the book and told her that we were considering our wedding. That to us it was a personal issue. Also we are thinking about eloping seriously....and we will fill her in as needed.

May sound rude but I basicaly told her to but out we were adults and it was none of her business in the one line.....and my bf said he was proud I didn't get mad :-)

She was pussing us to marry sonner and have a big white wedding thing.....I am 30 and a student so finances don't allow that nore would I look like a teen bride LOL

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
In reply to: lol_des
Thu, 04-03-2003 - 8:38am
Hi Lol_des, welcome to the board!!! I agree that MIL needs to stay out.

As far as your bf goes, it doesn't seem like he is willing to stand up to his mother.

If you read the messages and archives on this board, you will see that DH's mothers have caused lots of problems. If he isn't willing to stick up for you now, he isn't going to do once you are married to him. Marriage only makes problems that are already there worse.

Maybe its time to reconsider whether or not you want to marry him and put up with his family and how they treat you. Especially since it doesn't seem like he is willing to stick up for you to his mother.

Good luck.