SIL is a moocher!

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-16-2002
SIL is a moocher!
Mon, 07-07-2014 - 1:51pm

This is just a *long* vent, no advice necessary!  For the umpteenth time, I have gone to a party where my SIL and her husband (who is a total loser) have attended empty-handed.  She has absolutely no qualms about showing up, even after offering to being something, without even a bottle of water or a bag of chips!  I was so pissed because yesterday we went to my MIL's house (her mother) to have a BBQ for MIL's b-day.  My husband and I agreed to bring a cake (which was $30), and I made some pasta salad.  SIL was supposed to bring potato salad, and my BIL was going to bring fruit, veggies to grill, etc.  Well, my hubby and I went over early to help MIL set up as she is recovering from hand surgery.  Then SIL and her husband arrive empty-handed, a few minutes later SIL goes to get something to drink, she gets water and her husband hems and haws and then takes a beer (which I KNEW he would).  This guy drinks like a fish, yet never brings a six pack or anything, he drank at least 3 bottles or more! 

My husband and I are having a BBQ in Sept with my FIL (husband's parents are divorced), we are going to be providing hot dogs/hamburgers, beans, pasta salad and drinks (no alcohol).   My husband is going to ask his sister to bring the cake, no ifs, ands, or buts.  If she shows up without it, she will look like the ass she is.  I am also going to ask my husband to ask his BIL not too bring too much (he is the complete opposite of his sister, he brings everything but the kitchen sink).  Oh, just found out SIL's excuse why she did not bring anything, she heard what everyone else was bringing so thought she didn't need to bring anything...WTF? 

I also told my husband we are NOT buying $30 cakes any more, that's ridiculous.  We can really only control what we do, so we are going to.  We have a terrific life, a great home, great jobs, go on fabulous vacations.  SIL is mooching a vacation off her mother, and has mooched cars off her in the past, MIL's (now deceased) husband had put a stop to it, but I have a feeling the mooching will begin in earnest again now that he's gone. 

Her parents have created this monster as they have given her thousands of dollars over the years, not loans either, just given her money, even though she has TWO college degrees.  She chooses to take crappy jobs that don't pay well, and then cries poverty.  One last thing, this woman is 51 years old, yet acts like a complete adolescent.  One last kicker, my husband has been made executor of both his parents estates, even though his SIL has a financial and accounting background, they know she would take all the money for herself.  I really hope her parents live long and healthy lives and that there is nothing left when they go.  Whatever money they have should go to their care and well-being, period.  Whatever is left, will be split three ways.  FIL has a place in FL, which, when he dies will be sold, I'm sure SIL will want it, but unless she can buy it, and give my husband his third, it's going. 

Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.

.  -Albert Einstein

Avatar for demecafe
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-08-2008
Mon, 07-07-2014 - 2:58pm

No advice - both because you said none needed and frankly, I'm in a similar boat so I have no idea either. ;)

You are right though, you can only control yourself, but man, I know how infuriating it is. For one, it's just rude manners not to bring anything, family or not. We always bring to each other's houses, and it's just the 3 of us girls. My inlaws do not feel as I do, but rather like your SIL does, and it was taught to her kids (my DH's half-sibs) to be that way as well. Shoot, my SIL and BILs are in their early to late twenties and don't buy their own Christmas gifts for us. SMIL and FIL still add their names in the birthday/Christmas cards. Amazing.

You're not alone with the fools in this world!! ;) 


iVillage Member
Registered: 05-19-2008
Wed, 08-06-2014 - 1:15pm

Isn't it funny how people can be so selfish.  I watch in families how it is always a couple of people cooking and cleaning during an event and all the rest just sitting around having a grand ole time.  

All you can do though is make decisions for yourself and for your family.  I stopped all the entertaining at my house because I was exhausted.  I still do some when I feel like it but just know who will help and who won't.

Same with giving gifts.  I use to give to so many that never gave back or never even acknowledged etc.  I realized that while I can if  I want to , if it upsets me because of the lack of response then I just simply don't have to.  So, I don't.  It's a great feeling to do what you want and only do for those that you feel care and appreciate it.