TERIBLE INLAWS

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-07-2007
TERIBLE INLAWS
15
Mon, 01-08-2007 - 12:05pm
Hi, I am new to the message boards , but i thought i would chime right in . Well , where should i begin (lol) . My husband and i have been together 10 years , 6 of them married. We have a school aged son . I was 16 when we met and he was 19 . His parents never liked me from the start . His father always made rude remarks about our age difference , His mom called my mother one time and told her we spent to much time together . Put it to you this way , i was taking there slave away from there household . My hubby basically did every thing around there and i guess when i came into his life they were threatend . He didnt slave around the house like he used to . His father one time called my parents house and left a message on my parents answering service and said hey i have got the lawn mower waiting and hung up . Not too mention his son is 19 years old . My husband was never treated as an adult or treated like a person who has his own needs and wants . My husband will admit that he is so glad he is away from home . It has always been something with these people and i have cut all ties with them . They called all the time and were always in our business. About year ago we had a huge blow out with them . A sibling in my family became very sick and i was not willing to tell his family or anyone outside of my immediate family what had happened . We had a upcoming birthday party for our son coming up and we had to cancel it due to my family situation. Well my husband told his sister that we were canceling the party and that we just have alot going on at this time and that we are not willing to talk about it . so needless to say they are extremely nosy and and wouldnt leave it alone. So his mother called me one afternoon and pulled one of her manipulitive schemes on trying to find out what was going on . I realized what she was doing , so finally i said look this i why i have not talk to you in weeks i knew you would question me somehow on what was going on. I called my husband and let him know what had just took place and he said i will take care of it . He called her that night and ask her why she couldnt leave everything alone and she basically went on to down him and tell him we dont come around and that we act like certain family members in her family . She told him that I spend to much time with my parents and that my son does too. I mean the list goes on . It got real bad - I cursed her out from one end to the other . My husband finally said that we needed some space and time from them and then hung up the phone . His father calls back and is yelling and screaming and he said are you choosing her over us ? No to mention i am his wife not a girlfriend . well after that we cut all contact with them . So , this is where they did it for me . My husbands sister and mother kept calling our house leaving messages that they were going to sue us for grandparent rights . His mother even came to his work to try and talk to him even after my husband told her he needed time away from them. I could keep going on and on , but i will stop here . I would just like to know if i am doing the right thing by not having anything to do with them . I just cant even be in the same room with these people . The situation would have been worked out better than cutting all ties with them , but they did the wrong thing by threating grandparent rights. Please let me know what you think !

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Avatar for cl_mugalug
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: lvnlife25
Mon, 01-08-2007 - 4:24pm
Probably, but now due to the law it will blow up in her face. Ha ha.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-15-2003
In reply to: lvnlife25
Mon, 01-08-2007 - 4:43pm
When my DH and I were in counseling trying to save our marriage from the damage done by MIL, the first thing we were told was that MIL should never see one of us alone. We needed to present a united front before her until she understood that we were a UNIT, a package, and could not be separated by her. This also served to limit the times we did see her since we both had to be available. Also, it protected our child because he was never left alone with MIL and DH could not take him there and fail to be attentive to him while his mother did or said heaven knows what to him to trash me. It took a long time and consistency on our part, but MIL finally realized that we were not going to allow her to divide us. That doesn't mean that she stopped trying, but we grew stronger as a result.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-08-2006
In reply to: lvnlife25
Mon, 01-08-2007 - 8:57pm
Hey. I am glad to see that I am not the only person who will cuss the inlaws out. My sitution is a bit different. When I met my DH, he was 27 and I was 19. Big age difference, yes, but it works. Well, my MIL (from hell) has hated me since the day she met me. I 'took her baby from her'. That is what she told me. Oh well. He is not a baby, he is a grown man with a family. My DH has been run over and crapped on my his family his whole life, and they think that I am suppose to stand for it. I don't. Today, I cussed my MIL out. I told her the way that I felt and told her to never call my house again. Then, my DH's aunt chimes in and says that everyone in his family hates the F@#$out of me. OH well, they always have and always will. The sad thing is that when something happens to my DH my MIL wants to act like this caring mom. Whatever. I don't stand from that crap. My DH have been together for 6 years, married for 3 1/2. I look at it like this. Who in the right mind wants their children around people whom act like freaking morons...Not me. BTW, the only time my DH's aunt calls is when drama erupts. She doesn't call to check on my husband who just had spinal fusion surgery. She doesn't call to see how my 2 yo son is doing. I have to come to the conclusion, that we as parents have to worry about how we raise our children and who we allow to influence our children. If you hate me, then you hate my DH and son. That is how I feel. Good luck with your in-laws. Just know that you aren't the only one with morons for in-laws.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-08-2006
In reply to: lvnlife25
Tue, 01-09-2007 - 9:19pm

WOW. I must chime in on this subject. I just dealt with my DH's 'evil' mom and aunt. yesterday. I have dealt with the lies, coniving, backstabbing, two faced drama as long as i can. My DH and I have been together for 6 years and married for 3 1/2. I must tell you that I told my DH's mom and aunt NEVER to call my house again and that NONE of the were welcome at my house EVER. MY dh's aunt left a message on his cell phone and I quote this that 'everyone in his family hates the f@#$ out of his wife'..his wife being ME. I told DH that they weren't welcome either. I have cut all ties with his family. I want to move away fromn them. So, I know what you're going through. It sucks. Unfortunately, DH or I aren't the one missing out. It is my 2 year old son. However, as parents we have to protect our children. It would do my son more harm than good to know them. One day, the children will figure all of this out. It sucks but kudos to you. I am glad I am not the only one who tolerates NOTHING from the IL's.

Laura

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-30-2006
In reply to: lvnlife25
Mon, 02-05-2007 - 12:46am

Good for you... Stick to your guns and give your mother in law and the rest of the family a run for their money. They sound kinda like my in laws. You are doing what you and your husband thinks is right for yourselves and your son. I say do what makes you and your intermediate family happy.

Good Luck- Tammie

PS just let her blow off some steam if she wants to.

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