A vent

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-11-2005
A vent
15
Mon, 01-23-2012 - 4:10am
A couple of weeks ago was MIL's 80th BD. Money is tight for us (I lost my job 15 months ago & haven't found another job yet) dh & I wanted to go up & fix her a nice dinner. We just learned that MIL & BIL have planned a weekend trip to Victoria BC. We can't afford to go, but we're getting pressure to come ( we would have to put every thing on the credit cards,which we don't want to do) I suggested to dh that he could go & I would stay home (that way it's only half the cost) & I would LOVE to go up there. It's one of my favorite place I Bristish Columbia CA.

DH feels like MIL/BIL decided this trip without taking dh/us into count. BIL has just declared bankruptcy so we don't know how he can afford to go off on a trip like this unless MIL is paying for this trip.
~~Sam stitches well with others, runs with scissors in her pocket. Cheerful and stupid.

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Avatar for 3togetready
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-19-1999
In reply to: busdriversam
Mon, 01-23-2012 - 11:02am

I would just stick to going up and fixing her dinner when they get back. The worse thing you can do at a time like this is charge something you can't afford even if it is just half the amount.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-19-2008
In reply to: busdriversam
Mon, 01-23-2012 - 11:03am

Busdriversam - you are way to kind :).

I think you should stick to your original plans.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-11-2005
In reply to: busdriversam
Mon, 01-23-2012 - 4:44pm
Summer I agree with you , but MIL isn't like that at all. This woman only thinks of herself. (when she turned 70 we celebrated her BD for an entire yr) I know that there are 4 or 5 of my dishes that she loves that I can prefix here at our house & then cook at her house. I'm thinking of making a lemon cake & maybe boeuf bourguignon or lasagna.
~~Sam stitches well with others, runs with scissors in her pocket. Cheerful and stupid.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-19-2004
In reply to: busdriversam
Mon, 01-23-2012 - 5:25pm

I would say that your bil just flat out makes bad financial decisions.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-24-2001
In reply to: busdriversam
Mon, 01-23-2012 - 6:10pm

((Busdriver))

Please resist this plan!!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-11-2005
In reply to: busdriversam
Mon, 01-23-2012 - 6:51pm
My MIL is worth millions, so I'm almost positive she is paying for herself & BIL (she's been giving BIL money for quite some time). I'm going to talk with dh, I know we are just going to fix a nice dinner for her.
~~Sam stitches well with others, runs with scissors in her pocket. Cheerful and stupid.
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-24-2001
In reply to: busdriversam
Mon, 01-23-2012 - 9:02pm

o.k. . . .. wait a second . . .

Your MIL is worth millions and you think it's likely that she is funding BIL (and SiL?)'s trip to celebrate her birthday.

You are struggling financially due to circumstances beyond you control.

Your inlaws are putting pressure on you to join them even knowing your financial situation (and, btw . . . not offering any financial help to you - though again you think it's likely MIL IS helping BIL)

AND YOU PAUSED TO CONSIDER GOING INTO TO CC DEBT TO JOIN THEM?????

What the heck are you thinking??

Avatar for elc11
Community Leader
Registered: 06-16-1998
In reply to: busdriversam
Mon, 01-23-2012 - 9:13pm

I think I would tell her: "if you are offering to pay our way 100% then yes, we would love to join you. But if we are expected to pay for anything in this vacation then we will not be joining you, period. We do not have that kind if disposible income on hand and we cannot rack up debt on a vacation when we don't know how we could pay it off, or when". Repeat as necessary until she gets it, or at least drops it.

I think your offer of a homemade dinner sounds very nice, I hope that she appreciates it.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-11-2005
In reply to: busdriversam
Mon, 01-23-2012 - 11:45pm
DH & I talk tonight. He agrees with me, we're going to have dinner waiting for them. DH is finally seeing MIL's favritism AT LAST! BIL is divorced, we aren't sure if it's going to be MIL/BIL & the 2 neices or just MIL/BIL. Be interesting to see.
~~Sam stitches well with others, runs with scissors in her pocket. Cheerful and stupid.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-19-2008
In reply to: busdriversam
Tue, 01-24-2012 - 10:28am

I'm so glad that you DH is finally seeing this for what it is.

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