Well good news :-) (update)

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-07-2008
Well good news :-) (update)
Thu, 07-11-2013 - 4:08pm

I have some wonderful news and it is almost too good to be true lol.  So, we took a long, much needed break from the inlaws (1yr).  DH continued to go to holiday functions and certain bday parties, but other than that, he kind of stayed away too.  Recently I decided that we should give it another try after a lot of praying and working on myself too.  The first visit was kind of uncomfortable as we did not tell them my ds and myself were coming, we just showed up to the event.....a trip to MIL's with dh.  We could tell she was shocked, but she didn't really have a negative reaction...well just a little, but nothing too big.

So next weekend was my bday/mothers day weekend and my hubby planned a huge surprise for me and she was the one he asked to keep our ds.  I know she was shocked, but we decided not to say anything about anything and see what happens this time. (Usually we have some sort of meeting before we can go back around, letting them know what our boundaries are and trying to see how we can coexist lol).  Mothers Day she acted a ilttle funny as we were in front of other inlaws and this is where she feels most comfortable since they act funny towarda me too.

Only this time, they all were overjoyed (I say this by their actions lol) to see us and were very happy we decided to finally come around.  So I'm thinking "ok now this is different lol, as I was prepared for the disrespect and cattyness that I had always seen before from them".  But to my surprise, they started (his women cousins) including me on the txt messaging list letting me know they wanted me to attend their events. IKR this is unbelievable!!!  :)

Now the kicker is when SIL came home (she moved to Cali...YES lolol) for the holidays....I didn't go around them at first because me and the hubby was not on the greatest terms, but we were around them on the actual holiday and it was great!  I spoke to her and gave her a hug, she wasn't mean and MIL was nice too.  Our DS spent two nights with them while we celebrated our 5th Anniversary!!!  The next thing you know we (Me and SIL) are taking pics together and laughing and talking kind of like the old time before thee drama.  

God is awesome and with HIM ANYTHING is possible.  For me....I HAD to remove myself and my family (going against my DH too) for some time and allow myself to heal from the hurt they had given and for them to have a break from us even though they didn't want it.  It was very much needed and like I said when I made the decision initially, I felt no guilt at all keeping our ds away too.  Me and DH fought at times about it but I remained firm on how I was at minimum going to be respected and treated with some kind of decency from them.

I think they have learned a huge lession...at least I hope they did.  I also learned some things too....I was holding grudges from the past as well and when I was able to really let it go, things started to turn around for me.  Thank you all for your many comments, even when they were harsh lol in the beginning.  This has been a long 5 years, but I think it was worth what God has in store for the rest of it.  Hopefully the next post won't be of negativitivy as well, only to be able to give some of the best advice as it was given to me.


Community Leader
Registered: 08-25-2006
Fri, 07-12-2013 - 7:13pm

So nice to hear a positive update.  I don't know your story, but it sounds like it is all coming around for you.  I also believe that He can do amazing things, when we let Him. 

Even if a person is of a different belief, you stood your ground and followed your intituion.  I hope things continue to improve.

Serenity CL Making a Second Marriage Work