Were there ever signs???
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| Wed, 09-20-2006 - 11:32pm |
Hi All,
I anticipate being a full-fledged member of this page one day. I'm not married yet, but I see little signs that lead me to believe that I may have a future monster-in-law. So my question to you all is ... did you ever have signs while you were dating, what type of MIL you would have. I love my boyfriend to death and we have a wonderful relationship.
But I have a few concerns about my possible future MIL. See below:
1. She has already named her future grand-daughter(a combination oh her son's name and hers). And she actually put me on the spot in front of the family to ask me what I thought of that name, that she liked that name for a grand-daughter.
2. She said that it would be "over her dead body" for any of her grandchildren to attend public school (I come from a family of public school teachers).
3. When her son graduated from college, she took his diploma and locked it up in her office at work. She said thank you for the present.
4. She asked him when he is moving back "home." (She lives 500 miles away, and my boyfriend moved to my city after graduation. We were long-distance for a while). He told her that he does live at home. She got very angry and said "Home is where your mother is!"
5. Her friends double-teamed me to find out where I plan to live after I finish grad school, reminding me how great the job market is in their city. God forbid I just tell them that I like my own city better!
6. Although she does not know a single soul in my city (aside from her son and two of his friends), she announced that she has decided to retire and move here within the next few years!
These things may not sound so bad. There are MANY more, but these were the shortest ones that I could write about.
I always confide in my mom about these things. But after #6, she gave up. She said "sorry, honey...I don't have an answer for that one." What do you guys think? I know my boyfriend is her only child in the world, but my goodness!
Please please advise! =)

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She sounds like she is going to make your life a living nightmare.
I agree with the poster that said it depends on how your DH handles it.
If he is a mama's boy, it will get really ugly.
My MIL is a b*%@* on wheels now and always has been. If I knew then what I know now, I would not have married DH.
Best of luck to you!
(Good thing you are looking at this now and not walking in with eyes wide shut).
Well, she sounds desperate and scared. Especially if he's her only son. Honestly, I wouldn't try. I wouldn't fight her but I wouldn't try too hard with her either. Be polite you know, but seriously pick your battles. Start making yourself immune to her. That's what you have control over.
Do your best to keep distance between you and her and don't get in the way of boyfriend having contact with her. Even if you don't join him. I think after time, after seeing that her dramatics get no results or attention, I think she'll start coming back to earth. As long as your husband is in your corner, just don't sweat her. He is what is really important to you.
Oh and there were actually no signs for me at all. My MIL didn't start being difficult for me until about 2 years into the marriage.
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Hi swtladee06, welcome to the board!
Personally, my MIL has always been good to me and she has always treated me with respect. I am one of the lucky few who have not had any direct problems with their MIL. I may not like some of the things she says or does with others, but with me, she has been nothing but nice and considerate.
What does your boyfriend think about the things his mother says and does? Is he willing to stick up for you?
I have read through all the posts and I have to stress the part about him being able AND willing to stand up for you. I am a very strong person and knew my mil acted weird toward me but I ignored it and was too busy to deal with that crap. UNTIL she moved real close and everything changed. She has moved in for the kill. He loves his momma and won't say anything. She plays our children. It's awful.
I don't know, it's more than just signs....you are getting BILLBOARD-sized signs....I know it probably sounds really childish, but after 27 years of it, if I were you I would have to test out those shark-infested waters and see if he will support you. jmho....
Lena
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