Bil and my mother passed in July

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-26-1997
Bil and my mother passed in July
8
Sat, 08-06-2011 - 1:21am
It's been quite a month for us. My mother passed July 7th at age 83. She had lots of health history behind her death. But actual cause was mostly complications from hip surgery. Bil Dennis passed on July 11th. 4 days after my mother. That is Elaines dh. He was 62 at time of death. He had health issues also which included diabetes. But actual cause of death was heart related. Dennis's funeral was July 14th. My mothers on the 15th. We don't have to much contact with family lately. Not by our choice. Just seems everyone has gone their separate ways. No one cares to get together. Other than a wedding or a funeral.

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-13-2009
Sat, 08-06-2011 - 11:44pm
My sincerest condolences on the deaths in your family. I hope you are holding up as well as possible.....

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-26-1997
Sun, 08-07-2011 - 12:14pm
I'm dealing ok with the deaths. This just means for dh and I. Both our parents are now deceased. It feels a bit strange.

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-11-2005
Sun, 08-07-2011 - 8:19pm
Carol,

So sorry for your lose. My dad's family is sorta like that too. Or if they contact me it's pump me for info. It wasn't that long ago that I lost my mom.
~~Sam stitches well with others, runs with scissors in her pocket. Cheerful and stupid.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-19-2004
Mon, 08-08-2011 - 12:45pm

I am sorry for your loss.

Community Leader
Registered: 05-19-2008
Wed, 08-10-2011 - 12:33pm

Hi Carolwood,

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-26-1997
Wed, 09-07-2011 - 11:49am
What gets me. My mother disinherited us her kids. Her will says for reasons best known to me. I leave nothing to my kids. Then lists each of our names. Gives 11% to each of her 4 grandkids, 30% to my cousin Geri who was executor, 22% to her church. To this day I don't know what it was she felt us her kids did to her. That she felt we don't deserve nothing. I remember when dad passed in 1999. We were going through dads things. His money, life insurance etc. Getting to paying his funeral expenses and other outstanding bills. My sister Mary was executor. Mom ranted loudly. How she should get everything. We kids don't deserve anything. So we never told her about dads retirement fund or life insurance policy. Which named us kids as beneficiaries. That was not on his will. We mentioned some money dad had at a bank. That was going to cover his funeral. There was not going to be nothing left for mom That she was left the house and all the contents per the will. She made quite a bit off the sale of the house. 10 times more than what dad left us kids. Mom has always been manipulative over the years. Pulled some doozies of mental abuse on us. She acted like we had to do everything her way. Answer to her ever beckon call. Like our lives evolved around hers. In my opinion she must of felt we don't have a right to our own lives. Even if we're now married. Knowing how mom was over the years. And what she'd tell our son about what us kids don't get. I wanted to say on her death bed. Mom I know you disiherited us. That's ok. You can do what you want with your money. Dad provided quite well for us. More than you'll ever know about. But she died before we got up to her hospital room.

 

Community Leader
Registered: 05-19-2008
Wed, 09-07-2011 - 12:24pm

Carol,

It sounds like your dad knew what your mom would do and he prepared for his own wishes.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-26-1997
Thu, 09-08-2011 - 11:56am
Oh I don't care about the money we did not get. I had decided to forgive mom for all she done. She's gone I'm letting her rest in peace. You are probably right. Maybe she knew more of what dad left us kids than we thought. I can understand her thinking she should of gotten it all. Because she was his wife. But in the same can understand dad wanted something for his kids also. If mom knew all this. It was probably her way of getting back at us. By saying you kids get nothing. No I have no intents on contesting the will. I told our son to enjoy his money. Spend it wisely. Save something for the taxes on it at the end of the year.