DIL

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-30-2005
DIL
6
Fri, 04-13-2012 - 10:50pm

I am new to this board.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-19-2008
In reply to: icybuindia
Thu, 04-19-2012 - 12:17pm

I don't think you are being unreasonable - I am just wondering if there are other ways to handle her personality.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-30-2005
In reply to: icybuindia
Thu, 04-19-2012 - 10:25am

Just to clear up a few things.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-19-2008
In reply to: icybuindia
Tue, 04-17-2012 - 1:01pm

Hi Icy,

I'm happy that you did come here to post your issues/problems with your son and his wife (your DIL).

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-19-2004
In reply to: icybuindia
Mon, 04-16-2012 - 10:14pm

You are not alone.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-30-2005
In reply to: icybuindia
Sat, 04-14-2012 - 8:44pm

Thanks for your reply.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-23-2003
In reply to: icybuindia
Sat, 04-14-2012 - 8:33am
Don't think you are really asking for advice...

It is true most of us here are the DIL, and we are here bc of the IL. But, my mom always says that the streets go two ways. Without being there, you sound like you are being reasonable. She needs to grow up a bit.

Having said that, one thing I learned here a long time ago, is that you can only control you, not anyone else. So, you don't have to let that drama into your house. You can choose not to talk badly about your DS's x (baby momma). You can choose to have a good relationship with her (which is good for everyone to me). You can choose to like DGS's gf, or at least not talk badly about her (whether you really like her or not, not sure, but if he is 25 he can choose to date a girl).

Your DIL can choose things too. She can choose to talk badly about DGS's gf, about DGS, about her DH's x, the whole bunch. You can choose not to be around her while she does it.

Your DS can choose to support his DW. But, if you have a good relationship with your son, he can choose to support his wife, and he will see there is a cost, namely everyone else. Or, as it is his job, he can try to fix. Not saying he has a good job, but you are all grown ups. You don't need to put up with that. Sounds like you are setting some good boundaries. Now all you need to do is enforce them.

When me and my now x had this talk with his family, we went out for lunch. Neutral place. Gave no one the "home court advantage". ANd, if they got mean, I could leave.

Hugs!