Issues with MIL

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-17-2009
Issues with MIL
Tue, 05-31-2011 - 2:57pm

Hello everyone! This is part vent and part "I need advice"... and I'll do my best to keep it as short as possible. I have a pretty unique living situation, DH and I purchased a home last October. At the time we were living with my mom, her BF and my MIL in a 3 bedroom apartment. MIL was living with us to help her save on expenses. We ended up buying a 3 bedroom home and DH insisted on taking our moms with us. My mom hasn't worked in over two years and her BF was struggling with work so I agreed with the compromise that his mom would be the one to move out when we started a family. We can't afford for me to stay home so we agreed that my mom would be the one to stay home with our baby (or babies) Anyhow, seven months later I am fed up with having my MIL in our house. I am just not happy having her here. We've never been close (DH and I have been together for 9 1/2 year, and only married for 1 1/2). It's not that she has done anything to me per se but I just don't like her personality and her humor. She pretty much keeps to herself and doesn't interfere with our relationship but I honestly do my best to avoid her because I just don't want to have to have a conversation with her. In the past she has talked bad about my own family to me so I know that she is talking about me behind my back. DH says she had never said anything bad about me but I know she has to be if she is constantly talking about other people. As far as I know she doesn't even know that we're TTC nor does she know we're undergoing fertility treatment (that should tell you how much I don't trust her). I going to be starting fertility treatment in the next couple of weeks and I've read a that one of the side effects of what I’ll be taking is irritability and I fear that I am going to lose it one of these days and go off on her. If it were up to me I would want her to move out now but I don't want DH to be mad at me or have issues with his mom because of me but I am so unhappy having her here it's driving me crazy.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-23-2007
Tue, 05-31-2011 - 5:41pm
Ah, "if she does it with you, she does it to you" on. I know that game.

So have you talked about your feelings at all with DH? I don't know of a single person whose plan goes exactly the way they think without having to change something along the way. However keeping to herself and not interfering in your relationship would be a god send for some.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-19-2008
Wed, 06-01-2011 - 1:38pm

I don't know really exactly what is the best advice to give...I wouldn't want anyone other than my spouse and kids living in my home for any extended period of time but that is just how I was raised.