iVillage Member
Registered: 01-07-2004
Wed, 07-25-2012 - 2:12pm

hello all!! i havent been on here in a long time but there is a situation going on in my dhs family thats driving me nuts. his 2 brothers live together. one-c-is going through a divorce, whenever his soon-to-be ex wife files the paperwork. why he doesnt file is part of my rant...i think he secretly hopes she will come back and they will get back together. she was cheating on him before they got married and throughout the whole marriage(6 years). there is question that his youngest child and only girl biologically is someone elses. but she left him and the kids 4 months ago-shes all over facebook telling people shes engaged again and is going to be married asap. i dont think shes interested in fixing their relationship. but because no paperwork has been filed the state thinks they are still married and together. the kids are on her welfare case. but c has custody. over the last few days, my other bil d has been posting things on fb like "we have no water or electricity". "havent eaten in 3 days..." people are offering him advice and he just keeps wallowing. both bils work. and there are 4 kids living with them. where is their money going????
well, c is a closet alcoholic and d is an on again/off again drug addict. he keeps claiming hes sober and clean but i have major doubts. "clean" for him is taking 7 vicodin a day as opposed to 14. i dont think hes ever been completely off everything since 2009 when he got out of rehab for a 2nd time-and then he was only clean for about 6 hours before he scored some vics and took them. so im pretty sure he isnt "clean" now. and c has always liked a drink now and then...but since his wife split-hes been drinking-big time. im betting they have their pills and their alcohol. and c needs to tell d to quit posting stuff like that on fb-if his wife wanted to be a bi**h-she could take those posts to her lawyer and those kids would be removed so fast from c's custody...but she doesnt want them-shes a very selfish person who shouldnt have had kids...or at least not 4 of them.
what c needs to do is grow a backbone or a set and call her up and say "look-the kids are on your food stamp case-well we need groceries. NOW. and while youre at it-since you work-i need $50 to turn back on the lights and the water." and be mean about it. if the roles were reversed and she was the one with the kids and going through this-everyone would be calling him a dead beat, no good, etc. i havent heard that about her. not yet. and c is wallowing too-hes depressed cuz his wife left him. well, im sorry that happened to you-but you have 4 kids to take care of. quit wallowing and take care of your kids-by calling their mother and saying "hey-need some money..." asnd get help for your addiction. and tell your brother to stop posting all that crap on fb before he gets the kids taken away from you!!!
my dhs family is so stupid sometimes.

Avatar for elc11
Community Leader
Registered: 06-16-1998
Wed, 07-25-2012 - 7:19pm

Maybe the FB comments are a cry for help and the smartest thing he can do in his addled state---somebody should call Child Protection. Those kids need to be cared for by responsible adults that will make sure that they have food, and water to drink and bathe and wash dishes, and electricity to stay cool or warm. Not left to fend for themselves with a couple of substance abusers who cannot seem to keep the day to day stuff together and could be too wasted to handle an emergency if one comes up. Are these kids all under 6 years of age?

Interesting that they can afford internet access but cannot pay for basic necessities.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-19-2008
Fri, 07-27-2012 - 1:11pm

How sad and for the kids. I agree with ELC....child protective services should be called.  The issue about the deadbeat ex to be wife etc. is not the big issue here.  The big issue is the welfare of these kids.  Personally, having is stupidity plastered on fb only tells me that he doesn't deserve to have these children either.

What makes you think that the $50 he takes from the soon to be ex will go to the power bill?  People don't change that easily.  If they would rather drink and do drugs in their household than keep the lights on and the food in the fridge for the kids then doesn't that tell you neither are fit to have children living there?


What does his parents say?  The grandparents of these kids?  What does your DH say?