sister in law problems

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-11-2011
sister in law problems
6
Fri, 03-11-2011 - 9:18am

a couple of years ago my sister in law (my husbands brothers wife) fell out with me beacuse i didn't personaly go round to her house and wish her son happy birthday even though she'd told me they weren't having any sort of get together at their house. i had an exam so my mother in law had my little girl and they went round with the presents. anyway the siste rin law never said to my face that there was a problem but when it came to my daughters birthday a few months later i text her to invite them to the birthday party and she insisted that my nwphews would not be able to come with no real explanation as to why not.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-19-2004
Fri, 03-11-2011 - 11:26pm

She sound exhausting.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-11-2011
Sat, 03-12-2011 - 11:10am

Thanks, yeh ill have to just go through the BIL in future or both, some people just drive you mad don't they.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-19-2008
Mon, 03-14-2011 - 12:02pm

I understand that you want the kids to play together and be a part of each others lives - I feel the same way.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-11-2011
Mon, 03-14-2011 - 6:18pm
yeh i know what you're saying and to be honest if it was a friend or something behaving like that I'd definately have done as you say already. i just feel that I cant really moan about her if i'm also going to sink to her level and for example stop inviting or going to their events. its hard to explain to a 3 year old why they couldnt go to their only cousins birthdays etc. Trying to be the bigger person haha! (see how that goes!). Plus my H would not agree to that, where as at least we can agree on the current rules.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-11-2011
Mon, 03-14-2011 - 6:38pm
forgot to say, sat down with h and agreed that for now we'll continue to invite to a big occasion but directly through BIL, be wary of their invitations and just leave it at that, my H family is very close and the kids are watched at their Nan's so too are close. I think they'll grow apart inevitabley as they get older but I would rather it was a natural thing than just because we can't get along. You're right ofcourse in whatt you say but i think the rest of my H family would either be caught up in it or start interfering with their opinions, whilst now they do it discreetly. Mind you if things go worse and my h gets fed up enough I suppose things will go that way anyway.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-13-2009
Fri, 04-08-2011 - 11:37pm
How would a 3 y.o. know they were missing a party for a cousin?

Protecting yourself and your family from her stuff isn't "sinking to her level."