Update on MIL Xing me from family
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|Thu, 11-18-2004 - 2:19pm|
To refresh everyone since I have not posted in a while my MIL had decided to cut me from her life. Her excuse had been that she did not trust me. My husbands stand was that he would not speak to her as long as she felt this way. She said he was more than welcome to come and visit with the kids but I was not welcome and he simply told her that we are a package deal...... all or none.
Well to update: Last weekend my husbands Aunt (MIL's sister) who was with my husband when the discussion took place regarding her feelings toward me. She asked my husband if he would consider trying to talk to his Mom once again since the Holidays are coming up. She pointed out to him that their family is very small and that if it is possible to mend things she hoped he would try. (for the kids sake as she put it) Mostly the aunt hates to see anyone not speaking. She is well aware of the things that my MIL has said about me and she is aware of her hard feelings toward me even as unjustified as they are.
Well, my husband asked me how I felt and I told him I thought that if he could work things out that would be ok. It's not like he has to be best friends with his Mom but, she is his Mother and if he felt in his heart he should give her another chance it was his decison and I would stand behind what he thought. I did however mention that I felt very strongly about him discussing things with his Mother and not just going on as if nothing had happened or been said. He assured me he would do this.
He goes to her house sits down and says to her that we are having Christmas breakfast at our house and that she's welcome to come by. (he knows already she's bought gifts for the kids, even though she's not seen them in months) He mentions to her that he would like her to deliver the gifts herself and not send them through the aunt if her intentions are good. She says ok, and then asks if there's anything I would like for Christmas. My husband was floored and didn't really know how to react so he just told her it wasn't necessary to purchase me a gift. (which I'm also fine with). Then they basically just sat there and talked smack about daily stuff and nothing else was said. She's coming to Christmas and that's it.
Should I care that nothing was resolved? Should I be happy that things are at least civil between them and go on? Should I mention to my husband that I feel like things are unresolved and that masking what has happened and going on as if things are great isn't right? I'm confused. I've never been in this type of situation and don't know what to do. Or, if there's anything I should do. If anyone has any advice at all I would greatly appreciate it. I know you can likely tell from my previous posts and this one that I'm not the type of person to push myself or my opinion on anyone but I do need help on how to cope with things as they are.
Thanks in advance ladies! :)