VERY DIFFICULT DILEMA THAT I HAVE
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|Tue, 04-07-2009 - 4:37pm|
This is my first time posting here because I really don't know who to turn to on this one. I have a very controlling manipulative mother. I am the youngest of 5 but even though I am a grown woman (39 yo) she STILL treats me like a kid. She nags at me when she comes to visit, about cleanliness, if I have ironed my daughter's uniform (who is now 15 years old) and can iron her own clothes!!
But that isn't even the issue.. My mother plain and simple doesn't like my husband, never did, never will, for reasons that she may only know. To make a long story not so long, I was married at 19 and divorced at 26 and have a daughter from that marriage. I was single for almost 7 years before I met my current husband. She is deep down inside angry that someone took me away from her so to speak. She thought I would never remarry again. When I was dating my husband, she had someone scratch his car, she once called him and told him nasty things about me so that he would stop dating me.. etc..
My husband put all those things in the past and has accepted her in our life even knowing that she is not too fond of him. Anyways, my husband is up to the point that now he doesn't want her in our house ever again.. We live about 1 1/2 from my mother so I don't get to see her often but I do speak to her over the phone almost every day to see how she is doing..
The reason why my husband is done with her is because the last time that she was here, my mother plain and simple was criticizing my husbands two nieces, stupid things, like the way they dress, wear their hair, etc (mind you they are only 5 and 2 years old!!)
So I know that my mother is not the nicest person on the planet and I do side with my husband on this one about her coming up here, especially since dh told me that my mother was telling my mother in law that day that she had to come up to my house to help me clean the house because my house was dirty and that I didn't clean it.. I am so angry at my mother and very embarrassed with my MIL because that is not the truth. thank God dh told my MIL that I do clean, maybe not to my mother's standards, but my house is clean to our standards,,
So I guess my question is, how do I deal know with family get togethers and holidays when I will not accept my mother in my house. I am supposed to see her for Mother's Day (we take turns each year with the moms).. DH wants no part of that so I will end up driving 3 hour round trip with my girls, but will it be this way for Christmas, Thanksgiving, etc..
There is no reasoning with my mother, I have even gone to councelling for this and even my councellor said that I should keep her at a distance but it's hard for me because at the end of the day this evil person is my mom..
Has anyone ever experienced something like this before??