When your sister invited her friends to accompany her to your bridal shower, did she then RSVP to the hostesses saying that it would be her plus 2 more guests? And did they go along with that? I'm guessing not.
So did she just assume that you would tell the hostesses to add 2 more to the guest list?
Your sister is being completely rude and weird trying to put it on you to uninvite her friends. But if it does fall on you, you could just tell them that you're sorry for the mix-up but you are neither planning this party nor paying for it so its not even your decision, its for family only and at this late date you feel it would be impolite to ask the hostesses to add more people to the guest list anyway and you're sure they will understand. They probably will understand and be embarrassed about the position your sister put everybody in, unless
She didn't RSVP for them and I told her the first time the issue came up (2 months ago) that it wouldn't be appropriate for non-family guests to be there. This is really wierd for me because I want to tell her how difficult she is making this for me, but I dont want to start an agrument with her. While we were planning her wedding two years ago, she went a little bridezilla and expected me to skip a final to print her invitations and threatened me with demoting me from MOH to bridesmaid. I don't want anything similar to happen around my wedding. I want everything to be as low-key and drama free as possible.
Your sister made an assumption and we all know what happens when you ass-u-me. :)
First of all, you need to have a sister-to-sister discussion about any and all other "surprise" guests to your upcoming nuptials. Follow up a verbal conversation with a PDF statement if you have to and make sure you have a copy to back you up.
Secondly, it's your SISTER'S place to "un"invite these uninvited guests - not yours. YOU did not invite them. SHE did.
Oh, well, so now she has to tell them, "I'm sorry, but you can't come. I didn't get you officially on the guest list."
Thanks for all of the advice guys! I really appreciate it. The uninvited guests were officially "uninvited" and my shower was wonderful! My fiancee's family is awesome and they sure know how to throw a beautiful party.
My mom and sister still make me uneasy about other wedding-related events. They were supposed to get ready with me and drive with me to the shower (it was about 30min away from my apartment). Instead, they didn't contact me until 20min before we were supposed to leave to tell me that they would just meet me at the mall near the hostess's house and then follow me because they deicided to have lunch together and go shopping.
My finacee noticed that this upset me and volunteered to take me to his mom's house so i could ride with his mom and grandma. When we arraived at the mall to get my mom and sister, despite my frequent updates on EXACTLY what time we would get there, they were still shopping and not ready to go. We had to wait in the parking lot while they took their time. the second time I called my mom to try and hurry her, she said "Its not like the party is going to start without you". I was not only hurt, but extremely embarrassed that my future in-laws had to see this side of my family. We ended up 10 min late to the shower instead of half an hour early like I had planned. Thank goodness there was plenty of sangria at the party to get me to relax and be able to truly enjoy my own bridal shower.
Next time they pull that stunt. I would then just start without them. It is your party and as much as your family wants to control you. This is about you. You are not being a Bridzilla. But they are being FAMILzillas!.
Thiok about it as training for when you have kids. You give them choices. And let them learn from their choices that you will not give in. Next time you have an event important to you. And they decide to go shopping and have lunch instead. And may I point out you were not invited. Then their choice is that Either they get their butts to the event on time or you will go on time without them. And when they try to make their late grand enterance and blame you. Remind them that it was their choice to be late.
There is so many parenting books out there. And it kind of makes me laugh about an episode of Everybody Loves Raymond where Ray and Debra go to a parenting class. And Debra is not as into as she thought and wasn't doing well with the techqniues. And Here comes Ray testing out the theroies on his parents to find out it actually worked on them. (even for a short time)
You like me are a people pleasert and being such we get taken advantage of, Because as someone put it to me, because we don't want to step on anybody's corns. And we just keep quiet. But then it builds up till we blow up. And of course everything is our fault. Even though we know better.
Good luck to you
It seems like some kind of passive-agressive behavior is going on here on the part of your sister -- maybe since she was a Bridezilla and enjoyed being the center of attention at her wedding, now she is missing that and is trying to take the attention away from you.