18 too old to live with parents???

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-02-2003
18 too old to live with parents???
11
Fri, 06-06-2003 - 10:20pm
Ok everyone, I mainly just want your input, I won't flip out if people say I am too old to live with my parents but I want to know. Do you think 18 yr olds should automatically move out? I just finished high school (homeschooled so I got my GED) last fall and I started college in Jan, I'm working part time, going to school full time and I pay for my own things such as shampoo, clothes, car insurance and gas, etc. My mom and stepdad have no problem with it and I help out around the house which I have always done. Anyway I am getting a total complex because on another board some woman was griping about how when you are 18 you should be out on your own. Personally I think great if you can afford that but I couldn't, if I want to finish college, and I live pretty close to my college so I dont see the point of staying in a dorm and paying extra when I can drive back home every evening anyway? Personally I plan to live here until I finish college and I dont see how it's all that different from somebody living in a dorm their parents paid for anyway. DO you think that is weird? My aunt mentioned to my mom that I should pay rent but my mom was like "no way, not til she is 30 and living here with 3 kids then she can pay" and of course that was a joke.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 06-06-2003 - 10:55pm
My opinion, no not to old at all. I wouldn't worry about what other people think. The longer you live with your parents the easier you will have it financially in the future and I really don't see any since in paying for a house and all the bills just for yourself as long as it's alright with your parents and you all get along then I see nothing wrong with you staying there.Now if your still there when your 30 and have kids thats a different story LOL. Enjoy living with them as long as you all feel comfortable. I know I moved out 10 years ago and when things get rough I wish I could go to my old room and curl up in my old bed and I am gone on 30 with 2 kids. LOL. I'm sure my mom would let me but they moved, my room is gone, and I don't think we'd get along very well. There is a time to grow up but at 18 I wouldn't be in a rush to be completely on my own.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-02-2003
Fri, 06-06-2003 - 11:12pm
Thanks so much for writing back that made me feel a lot better! I guess Im just a really independent type of person and so hearing someone saying that I shouldn't live at home at 18 really hurt because I dont want anyone thinking that I'm lazy or just mooching off my family, ya know? Also I do feel really jealous sometimes of my friend who is 19 and has her own place, but she also works LOTS more hours than I do, and has almost no spending money (and she even has a roommate) and she dropped out of college. I know not everyone's life would turn out the same but its kind of that grass is always greener stuff, I feel like I want my own apt but then when it comes down to it I'm glad I'm still at home so I can concentrate on school, work and having fun right now instead of just bills! Thanks, Rhiannon
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-04-2003
Sat, 06-07-2003 - 12:22am
Hi,

I was booted out on my 18th birthday and if I had only been given the chance to live at home even a YEAR to get some kind of skill or trade or saved for a car, I would have been grateful. If I could do that now in my late 30's I'd do it! Without an education, I can't even tell you what a difficult time you would have. Don't risk it by wanting to move out so soon. 3 more years and you will be able to move out on your own, pay for an apartment and have spending money, it isn't that long of a time until then.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-14-2002
Sat, 06-07-2003 - 12:25am
Nope, not for you, anyway. As long as your parents are fine with it, you are contributing to the household, and abide by the household rules, then go for it! You are smart to save money this way, and lucky to have parents to pay for your college and support you while you get your degree. In return, it sounds like they get a respectful, responsible daughter and compatible housemate.

I have told some 18yo's on this board that it's time for them to move out - those who complain about their parents' rules, or who are living at home and doing nothing to prepare for their own future (freeloading). This doesn't sound like the case with you.

It all depends on the situation, the give-and take, and the people involved. Strangers on a message board can gripe all they want and spout their opinions, but in the end, nothing really matters except what you and your own family decide.

Good for you.

Msfit

                  &nbs

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Sat, 06-07-2003 - 3:49am
I think you are ok. I think the people most griped about are those who DONT pay for anything and mooch off their families until they are 28 or more. You sound responsible and like you care about your family. If they dont have a problem with you being there and you like living with them still then stay.

I stayed til i was 23 because my mom needed help with my handicapped sister. My brother wanted me gone but he was no help to my mom or sister at all. He just didnt want me to put him in a bad light. Finally i told my mom im moving out and if she needed me to assist in the mornings (I worked nights) i would. Of course i went to college in Illinois and my family was in Florida so i didnt see them for 4 years.

Still i think as long as you contribute and everyone is comfortable with you being at home then its ok.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-07-2003
Sat, 06-07-2003 - 1:01pm
I think it is fine to live with your parents while you are going to college! You are not too old to live at home. As long as you get along with your parents and can have your independence, I see no problem with your living there. I know plenty of people in their 20s who live with their parents for one reason or another. And in Europe, many children live with their parents well into their adulthood. As long as it's harmonious, stay there! You can save money.

Tracy

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-15-2003
Sun, 06-08-2003 - 5:16pm
I think you living with your parents helps to learn responsability a little at a time. your paying your bills and realizing that bills have to be paid in order to live on your own and right now your not in a positon to do so, so instead of jumping head first into adulthood you are planning to move after collage when your in a better finatial positon. plus you can devote your energy to studing and doing well in school rather than worry how you are you going to pay your electric bill. No reason in being streesed out when you have understanding parents like you do. Dont worry about it!
Avatar for lucy4980
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 06-09-2003 - 5:03pm
I think it's great if you can live with your parents while you go to college. It cuts down on expenses and allows you to focus more on your school work than if you lived on your own and had to worry about making enough money to pay the rent, buy food and so on. From what you said, you work to pay for your own stuff and you do your share of the work around the house, which is as it should be.

I went to a community college for the first couple years after high school and lived with my mom. I had a similar situation as you - working part time, earning my keep at home by doing house work. Like another poster said, this helped me transition into the full responsibility of adulthood. When I went away to school after community college, my mom still helped me out as much as she could financially, but I took on more and more responsibility as time went on and my earning power increased. I worked part time during the school year and full time all summer long. By the time I graduated from college, I had been working as a tech for awhile making pretty good money, so I was pretty much fully supporting myself.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-06-2003
Wed, 06-11-2003 - 5:42pm
hi, well the only experience i have with this is my neice, she is almost 20 and you at 18 are way more responsible and mature! if you are working toward a better future for yourself do not feel guilty of taking a hand from your folks and staying there while you finish school.

in my case my neice just finished school this year, does not drive, does not do jack crap around here with out being begged, she works part time at a fast food resturaunt, and has no desire to do any more with her life.

all we asked of her was to show us respect as well as herself but that cannot even be done. so after her last episode we sent her home to her mother.

i don't think its so much how old you are and still living at home as it is what you are doing to better your life.

you say you work and go to school as well as help out around the house?

good for you...

as i told my neice your only young once and only get these opportunities very few times in your life grab ahold and go for it.

my son is 16 he says he ain't never moving out....lol

said he has it to good here...lol
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-11-2003
Thu, 06-12-2003 - 12:36pm
Oh my goodness, no you are NOT too old to live with your parents! If my kids try to move out at 18 I'll be devastated. I don't think most 18 year olds are ready to move out at all. You don't just have an arbitrary birthday and then you are all grown up and off you go.

Besides that, if you are happy, and your parents are happy then what would be the point of going anywhere. I lived at home until I got married. My husband moved out at 16 and then moved back at 21. He stayed until we got married too. We also lived with his parents while we renovated our house. As a result, my mother in law is my best friend. We live across the street from her and down the street from my brother in law and his family. My mother in law comes over almost every evening for dinner since my father in law passed away. I would live with her again any time, and if the time ever comes that she needs that, I would never hesitate.

I think you should live with people you love and get along with. That's what will make your home a home.

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