20 something nephew is supporting his mom, my ex sis-in-law

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-16-2008
20 something nephew is supporting his mom, my ex sis-in-law
6
Sun, 05-22-2011 - 8:42pm

Hi everyone -

The dysfunction in my family continues.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-13-2009
Are you close to your nephew? How often do you see him?

I think this is a tricky situation, coming in between a mother and her son.

And I wonder if he "could" be out on his own while in college. Do you think he's completely supporting her? Where do they live?

Sorry for all the questions, but it's hard to answer without knowing a little more, at least IMHO...


 

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-16-2008

I see this nephew a few times a year at family functions.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-23-2011
I know your sitch is hard. I just posted about my sitch with my sister, also a frustration. I see you have 2 possible options.
1. say nothing
2. say something very carefully, like, "well it might be better for you to have roomies your age" and then never say anything again, ever

*sigh* sorry you're going through this. It's no fair to have all good intentions and still have to monitor your words for fear of them being twisted.
If you'd like to stop by my thread and have any advice at all, a billion thanks. Warning, it's long and drama-laden
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-13-2009
I lost my first reply, so I'll try again. ;)
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Oh, don't get me wrong. I'm sure she's sucking everything she can out of him for the long haul.

The main reason I was hesitant is because it doesn't seem you and he are close, only seeing each other a few times a year at family functions.

Four years ago, my son was 18 and working full time to support another family, whose father was in prison. When dad got out of prison, my son was kicked out for awhile, said there wasn't enough room in the house for him anymore.. And in the meantime, my son rarely spoke to me. And he continued to cling to them even afterwards!! It was mind boggling.

None of my warnings worked.

It's hard. They don't listen. But if you think it will work, and you feel strongly about it... then do it. You might lose a relationship with him (probably temporarily, if it happens), and if she's not already, she will consider you her sworn enemy.

Let us know what you decide, ok?

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-30-2007

IMHO, it's not something worth worrying over.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-16-2008

Oh right...definitely.