Abusive mother, need advice please!
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|Mon, 08-09-2010 - 7:45am|
My relationship with my boyfriend was getting serious so we decided to introduced our families for them to meet and me and my mother (my father passed away a few years ago) spent Christmas at my boyfriend's family home. My mother did something that irritated me a lot, something she used to do when I was a teenager and stil does now I'm 29 years old! I have a very disfunctional family and did they many awfull things to each other throughout the years, that's why I'm not on speaking terms with many members of the family because they're really mean people.
But what my mother did at my boyfriend's family home was telling these stories to everyone! To my boyfriend's mother, to his grandmother, uncle, etc. She didn't even ask me if I want them to know that or tought that I might not like it, she thinks because she's my mother, she has the right (and the duty) to explain what she wants to people.
I didn't like that at all at I know that some people felt uncomfortable as well because she was nor respecting my and others boundaries. My boyfriend didn't like it as well.
Now after some months, we had another get together and she did that again. I just don't want this! I don't want everyone on my boyfriend's family to know all about my life and details like I don't know about them! I don't want to be defined by these stories because I'm a VERY different person now and I don't care about my family members, I care about my present and my future, but my mother still lives that in the present and she decides what to talk about me and her to other people.
I had a conversation (or tried to have one) with my mother explaining I don't like that, it's a lack of respect to me because she didn't even ask me if I mind she speaking about those things. Of course she didn't understand me and even said that she doesn't see any problem.
I don't like this, she's abusive and this together with other stuff she did makes me and my boyfriend (well, now fiancé) not wanting more get togethers with my mother and his family. I even overheard my mother badmouthing me to my boyfriend's aunt. This means she's gonna spend Christmas alone. She even said that she wants to continue going to my boyfriend's family home because she has already her place there and going there doesn't have nothing to do with me and my boyfriend now!
Well, I just want your opinion about what my mother did, telling everyone about our family issues, am I overreacting or is this a real lack of respect to me? Please give me a honest opinion, I'm too involved and need an external point of view. Thank you so much!