Accused of Being Petty and Scrooge Like

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-12-2011
Accused of Being Petty and Scrooge Like
25
Mon, 12-26-2011 - 2:43pm

For the pass 25 years my 2 sisters and I who reside in the same state have had our own family tradition of spending Xmas together.

Pages

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-13-2009
Mon, 12-26-2011 - 3:11pm
It wasn't the kids' fault their mother wouldn't come. I think you should have included them in the gift giving.

JMHO.

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-23-2010
Mon, 12-26-2011 - 4:09pm
Not saying its petty but I think you should not have excluded them. I think you meant to call attention to the fact they weren't there and in your own way this was a punishment. I agree that the kids are innocent and how do you explain to them why they were excluded. It's a typical power move and in my opinion was your fault.

San

I had issues with family and I'm curious why you thought this was okay?? Did you have a little bit of regret?? Your niece made a decision that she felt was right for her family...may e she was embarrassed or she was afraid her children would continue bullying your son but in the end she made what she thought was the right decision. How could you not respect that even if you disagreed with it??
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-14-2004
Mon, 12-26-2011 - 5:42pm

If your goal was to continue an issue, you succeeded.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-12-2011
Mon, 12-26-2011 - 8:12pm

I did respect her decision and did not and would not have said anything about them not coming. It was my sister who made an issue of it by asking for gifts that were not given. It was not up to her or her place to ask about gifts. If we had had gifts to give her grand children we would have sent them.

It was my sister who put us on the spot and drew atttention to the fact they were not there. A gift is something that is given freely and should not be asked for, especially not by someone else. The kids probably were not expecting anything since they were not there to receive it. It was their grandmother asking about it and that's what I have a problem with. Half the time she forgets my son's birthday and says I'm going to

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-12-2011
Mon, 12-26-2011 - 8:18pm

My niece was the one who excluded them, by staying away. If she had wanted them included in the gift giving then she would have brought them to the celebration. Plus this is not my niece doing the asking it was their grandmother as far as I know she did not expect anyting from us.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-12-2011
Mon, 12-26-2011 - 8:23pm

No, I was not trying to continue anything. We give money gifts

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-13-2009
Mon, 12-26-2011 - 8:44pm
Ok then, sounds like your mind is made up.

 

Avatar for elc11
Community Leader
Registered: 06-16-1998
Mon, 12-26-2011 - 8:46pm

I think its okay that you didn't give gifts to the greatnieces/nephews who were not there, regardless of why they didn't attend. We've done that with with dh's extended family. And it was tacky of your sister to ask for their gifts.

Do those kids or their mom usually give you a gift when you are together on Christmas?

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-13-2009
Mon, 12-26-2011 - 9:06pm
<< My sister felt we were being petty scrooges by not giving her grand kids the money gift like we always had in the pass. >>

Did she say those words to you?

Regardless, it was tacky for her to ask you for the money gifts.

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-23-2010
Mon, 12-26-2011 - 9:38pm
(Plus the niece didn't send any gifts to us by her mother so why should we be expected to send gifts to her.)

This sounds bad....gifts are given with no expectation of anything in return. This line makes it sound like a power play. If you haven't given in the past gifts if they didn't show up then this is the way it's been.

Only you know your pure motives here.

San

Pages