Advice: How do I decline being a Godmother

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-26-2011
Advice: How do I decline being a Godmother
19
Tue, 07-26-2011 - 8:42pm

Okay, I just found out a family friend is pregnant. She constantly made comments over the years about me baptising her child when she wasn't even pregnant. I told her I don't want to baptise another kid. I have 3 god children. I'm 25 and all 3 were baptised when I was a teen. I was forced into it by my parents. I genuinely had no real knowledge of the responsibility of being a GOOD godmother.

I'm fresh out of university, haven't found a job and live at home. I can't afford a baptism. That's the godmothers job in my religion, we are talking $3,000 or more for the baptism alone. AS WELL, annually Easter, Christmas & the childs birthday. If she was logical she wouldn't ask me. She should ask a married couple. She never takes no for an answer. I've already told her I'm a "bad godmother" because I don't see the god children I have because they are far away & I had a huge falling out with one of the mother's.

She is not a real friend, she calls to talk about herself. I never ask her for advice, I rarely call her because she annoys me. She got married at 21 and her life revolves around her husband. She won't go anywhere without him, how can I be close with someone who always has their husband around? Her mom & my mom are amazing friends. So I bite my tounge and deal with her many many annoying habits. She cries alot over anything & gets offended easily.

There is a big dinner party this weekend to celebrate her pregnancy news. I'm happy for her, but I don't want the responsibility. I don't have the money & I don't want to invest the time either because I find her so annoying. And a child deserves a good godmother.

I can't say yes if she asks me. I can see her asking me it at a table of ten people and putting me in a bad spot. I know she'll get very offended but how can I lessen the impact?

Pages

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-14-2004

Baptism is a religious sacrament, and in

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-29-2002

Tell her "I am just really honored that you would even consider me.

Photobucket
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-04-2010

Can you do something else that night than go to the dinner? Do you ahve any other friends that you could just go over and watch a movie at? or hang out with friends anywhere, I would avoid her for a while, let everyone know that you are really unreliable and they WONT want you to be godmother anyway. Say stuff they wont expect..

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-26-2011

Well she made me promise three weeks ago about this dinner since I usually always have other plans. But I found about the baby two days ago. So now I understand what the dinner is specifically for. I can't get out of it, she's the type that will complain to her mom & her mom will complain to my mom and the thing will get so ugly. She never does the dirty work herself, even though I'm very blunt about things. I've told her several times I'm not a good godmother. I just can't understand why she doesn't ask a married couple who has kids and will be able to invest more in a childs life. I just finished a masters the last thing I want is be a big part of a childs life.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-26-2011

Yes, I will most likely try to pull her aside. If not I'll tell her lets focus on the good news tonight and discuss things later. We'll see...

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-26-2011

She's not religious at all, I'm actually very religious and I know far more about traditions in my church which is why I take it very seriously. She's never been a godmother so she doesn't know the requirement that is needed. I don't think she expects me to guide her child religious. Especially since I'm more conservative and she's very liberal. I don't want to argue with anyone about how to raise children at this point in my life. But it's a very big deal about the money, her & her mother are very flashy and spend money on designer bags etc. So I know they'll expect alot on the big day and on every occassion. She really should ask a married couple, not a newly graduated person.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-13-2009
I admit first off I don't know anything about godparents or godchildren, except I've heard that one responsibility is to take the children and raise them should something happen to the parents.

Is that right? And even if it isn't, it seems odd to me that people would choose a teenager to be a godparent, what with the responsibilities you outlined for us.

<<< She really should ask a married couple, not a single newly graduated person.>>>

I agree.

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-26-2011

We don't believe that a Godparent is a guardian in the sense if someone passes away I'm responsible. A Guardian would have that role and it would be outlined in a legal document. She would

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-25-2002
Wed, 07-27-2011 - 8:01am

This is one of the more difficult questions I've seen posted on here. I have to agree 100% with sillysadie's response and suggestions. Let's face it, that kind of money is a BIG issue. I good friend once asked me to be her maid of honor. I had to decline...I lived hundreds of miles away, worked full time (incl, and esp. weekends)

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-19-2004
Wed, 07-27-2011 - 12:00pm

This is what I would do...(edited after reading other responses)

First, call your friend and let her know something has come up (give

Pages