advice regarding DIL disturbing parenting

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-02-2003
advice regarding DIL disturbing parenting
16
Sun, 11-27-2011 - 8:03pm

I usually have the attitude that I stay out of my kids lives.

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Avatar for ukgirl82
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-17-2005
Mon, 11-28-2011 - 6:59am
Was your son there? Did he see/hear it? Did he have any reaction? You could maybe ask him what he thinks or feels about it but if he's okay with it, leave it at that and don't interfere. If he expresses unhappiness with it and/or asks you what you think, be honest how you feel about it and encourage him to speak to his wife. But otherwise, stay out of it.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-23-2010
Mon, 11-28-2011 - 10:42am
This is a tough one because I think your DIL is a bit freaked out by some real innocent kissing etc. Can you approach your DIL and indicate you noticed her actions and show your concern for her? Discuss the situation as concern for the SIL instead of what she is doing is wrong?? If she becomes defensive then you need to back away.

It's her child and her parenting style.

San
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-02-2003
Mon, 11-28-2011 - 9:50pm

Thank you ladies for your responses.

A tricky one because

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-23-2010
Tue, 11-29-2011 - 12:46am
Let it go....it will pass and if it doesn't then you can decide to intercede.

San
Avatar for cfk_3
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-14-1999
Tue, 11-29-2011 - 12:54pm
I'm sad for your grand daughter. I would take UK's advice, and speak to your son about it. Your DIL obviously has very strong opinions on the subject. I don't sense that she would take the criticism very well. If he thinks it's an issue, he can address it with her. In the meantime, continue giving your GD hug after hug and plenty of kisses!
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-02-2003
Tue, 11-29-2011 - 2:45pm

I am sad for my grand-daughter, too and her little brother and my son.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-14-2003
Tue, 11-29-2011 - 3:22pm

Unless you want those 3-4 times a year to go to zero, don't mention a thing to her or offer your disapproval.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-14-2004
Tue, 11-29-2011 - 4:02pm

I think parents have a tough row to hoe these days...perverts behind every corner, abductions from their own beds in the dark of night, drugs everywhere, sex being hailed as the be-all-end-all of human existence, being legally censured against spanking, having schools teaching kids to dial 911 and report parents who "abuse" them.

As a young mother, she's inexperienced, as we all were. She saw an event that likely frightened her (the kissing behind the dresser), and she is likely worried that the behavior could lead to further exploration. I think

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-02-2003
Tue, 11-29-2011 - 7:23pm

Yes, i agree.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-02-2003
Tue, 11-29-2011 - 8:04pm

I thnk you have completely misread me.

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