Always being left out by friends and family

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-14-2009
Always being left out by friends and family
5
Thu, 11-11-2010 - 12:05pm

I know I'm going to sound weird to people. I'm at the point in my life where I feel like I don't mean anything to friends and family. I get left out of a lot of events and I'm never asked to be a bridesmaid in weddings or godmother for children of friends and relatives. I truly believe that most of my relatives don't like. I feel ugly and that I'm not good enough to be apart of certain events. One of the things I really want to experience is being included in a wedding. I want to know how it feels to be thought of enough to be included in someone's special day. I'm tired of being left out. I have tried and tried to be there for friends and family I have pretty much licked their asses and I get left out of everything. I feel like I'm worthless to my friends and relatives.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-24-2004
Thu, 11-11-2010 - 1:35pm
Nm Gurl,
First I want to say, welcome to the board. It sounds like you don't believe in yourself and when you don't believe in yourself, others don't believe in you. And if you come across with a message such as "I don't want to be in anyone's way. I'll take up as little space as possible", you'll be bypassed.

Right now, you're feeling "ugly" and "worthless". Those are two generalities. You need to focus on what you do have and not paint yourself with a broad brush of being "no good". Are there any special talents you have? Focus on that. Everday, tell yourself "I'm a great cook / avid reader / computer wiz (whatever it is you're good at) and I wouldn't trade that for anything in the world".

A lot of girls feel that they are "ugly". Sometimes all it takes it a little make up, toning up at the gym or a new hairdo.

When you begin to focus on the good stuff, others will notice it too. You will be less inclined to kiss their hineys and they'll wonder what happened to you. That's a good thing, because whether they come around or not, you'll get more respect.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-30-2007
Thu, 11-11-2010 - 6:56pm

Being part of a wedding is a big deal.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-14-2009
Fri, 11-12-2010 - 2:05am
I suffer from bipolar and depression and sometimes that messes with self esteem. I try my best to be there for friends and relatives and I have included them in events such as concerts, games, movies etc and offered them help with different things in their lives and I feel they don't care much about me.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-24-2004
Fri, 11-12-2010 - 12:19pm

You don't have to let bi polar syndrome keep you from doing the things you want to do. True, it is a problem to have to deal with, but you can overcome a lot of the obstacles in your life. But you need to believe it. The people who are not being reciprocating are also hinderances to one's self esteem. When friends don't treat us right, we think it's because we did something. When I'm giving 75% and a so called friend is giving 25%, I dump them.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-22-2004
Fri, 11-12-2010 - 11:02pm

I´d would suggest you to stop trying that hard to please people and never again