Am I being silly about my step daughter and money?

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-01-2009
Am I being silly about my step daughter and money?
25
Wed, 03-16-2011 - 12:16pm

My step daughter (29) and her bf (30).

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-14-2004

While I can understand your frustration, no I don't think it's right to give them money as a wedding gift and then tell them how to spend it.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-13-2009
Well, I think babysitting is the right term for structured day care type service for the grandchild. And I think the insinuation to the OP was unnecessary.

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-14-2003

I would not charge for babysitting.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-30-2007

I really respectfully,

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-14-2003

I think that paying the grandparent for food and other costs should be the exception and grandparents should be reimbursed for that, but I'll agree to disagree with you on the rest.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-13-2009
I'm of the mind that I'm not spending my remaining years tied down 5 or 6 days a week taking care of grandchildren, while the parents spent left and right. And even if they didn't, grandparents don't owe that to their adult kids, anymore than they owe them cellphones, rent money, car insurance, etc.

And for those who have to use daycare, I much preferred that to my mother taking care of my child. No way, jose.

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-14-2003

I don't think it's a matter of owing anything to their children.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-13-2009
Sounds like it worked fine in your family. Glad you got to experience that.

I see alot of elderly people working now, more than I ever have. My nearest W-M is a prime example. I think 30 or 40 years ago these kind of people would have been retired and able to help with childcare more.

I wouldn't look down on a grandparent charging for taking care of their grandchild 5 or 6 days a week. Especially if they needed the money. The times are a changing. (for the worse, as far as I can tell!)

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-14-2003

I agree if the grandparent needs to work, then work first, kwim?

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-13-2009
Aw, she sounds like a wonderful woman. Sorry that she's no longer here.

I'm putting my parents in the crappiest nursing home I can find, lol!

(ok, that may sound extreme to those that don't know me, but it made me laugh! an evil laugh, lol!)