Am I too sensitive?
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|Tue, 04-22-2003 - 1:15pm|
The sarcasm that is directed toward me is not the funny "haha" kind. You know, like..."Oh, you made it." They would say..."nah, I'm still on my way here." Sarcasm like that doesn't bother me, it's the truly hurtful things they say. Like.....once after my sister in law and I took my children to go see the Grinch who stole christmas, I commented on how cute the who's were with their big front teeth. To which my sil comments.."well, you should like em, you have teeth just like theirs." She didn't smile or laugh when she said it.
Another thing is they're very judgemental of me..anywhere from my hubby's younger brother insinuating I was a loose woman when I met his brother and got pregnant on purpose to force him into marriage. I've gotten the vibe that the whole family has this attitude although nothing could be further from the truth. They were truly shocked a year ago when it came out that I didn't want to marry my dear husband at first for fear people would think just what his family thought. Then we figured out that itdidn't matter. We were going to marry whether I'd gotten pregnant or not. But it was still hurtful to find out that that was their opinion of me. It helps a little to know that they treat the only other non-blood relative the same way. They're divorced now, but my mother in law talks about her like she's some sort of psycho and bad mother. Now in all honesty, she's made some mistakes, just like I have and just like my mother in law has but all I've ever seen this woman do is TRY. She's in her 30's, a full time student, employed full time and takes care of her son during the week. Whereas her ex-husband, my hubby's oldest brother, can't keep a job, lives on a farm owned by my parents in law for free and is an alcholholic. But do you ever hear anything negative said about him? Nope. The man won't even look at his son when he's with him nor talk to him unless he's yelling at him. It's really extremely sad. OOOO, that brings up another thing. They treat our nephew horribly. This is the son of the oldest brother who can't keep a job and is an alcholholic. They talk about how obnoxious he is. And I fell into it for a while until I got to know the boy and realized he is only reacting to the way he's treated. The whole family treats him like he's a thorn in their side and that they'd rather not have him around. Heck, I'd be obnoxious too!
Boy, I didn't realize all that was in me. I feel alot better after having typed it all. Sorry about the rant :) If any of you have been in a similar situation, please reply and let me know how you handled it or are handling it. I'm the type that smiles alot and I don't like to make waves. I'm one of those people that if someone says something to me, maybe stating a fact that I know isn't true, I won't say anything because I figure they'll figure it out eventually anyway. Maybe because I'm this way, subconsciously I think everyone should be this way. And maybe when they're not, I get offended. When people do say things that hurt me, I always just keep smiling and tell them they might be right. I do this, because I'm always in shock and think I misunderstood them. It's not until I get home that I realize they did mean it to be hurtful or obnoxious, then I stew over it for three days. I'm tired of being like this. My husband aggrees that his family is obnoxious and we do have a wonderful relationship. He's not as bad as they are and knows how sensitive I am. So he refrains from being sarcastic with me and our children.
Whew, time to go meditate!