Am I wrong for asking for time to process my feelings?

My opinion is you need to stop responding to her in any fashion if that's what you need right now. Sounds like she's controlling and she's still has the control over you by attempting to do the things you've asked her to. If she calls don't answer...if she sends cards throw them away...etc. she's still got the upper hand and if you just stop she'll give up.

Good luck.

San

Absolutely not!

I have a different take amd many reasons why. Why would you subject your kids to someone that they are only able to communicate with through therapists? You are their parent and it is your job to protect them. If through therapists is how they talk that shows that being around your mom isn't safe for them. It isn't safe for you either from what you have written down here. After three years of not being totally cut off and shut down she is never going to take you seriously that you want time alone to process your feelings. Especially when she can use your kids to get to you and get to them. Remove them from the triangulation. Let them decide as adults what they want the relationship if any to be. But don't set them up as buffers for you and your mom
if you truly want time then enforce the time out all the way around. Keep it on YOUR timetable. Have contact again when you are ready.
Don't make the kids be in the middle and confused. Why mommy wants to be safe and away from gramma but we still have to talkbto scary Grammy. I have seen this several times and it never ended up good.
Your mom will also try to use the kids to "talk" to you and ignore you wanting time off to process your feelings. Give everyone the time off and time out and if she can follow your rules then you can ease back into a relationship if you want to.