An angry mother who holds grudges...

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-04-2004
An angry mother who holds grudges...
24
Sat, 03-26-2011 - 6:19pm

Hello! I could write a book on this, but I won't. I'll try to simplify things. I moved to Philadelphia in August because my mom kicked me out. I don't blame her though. The experience in Philly was so bad that when I returned home, my attitude was very different. I felt deep gratitude and began helping around the house A LOT! I was so grateful to be out of the stressful situation in Philly, it's hard to describe the level of relief.

My mom's been fixing up my old bedroom and helping me out here and there with things like a spring jacket, but when she's angry she holds these things over my head and claims I'm NOT grateful, which is untrue. So, sometime in the past 2 weeks, she must have mentioned a rule about renting Comcast movies, I I'd forgotten. I rented one today and told her, forgetting the rule and not expecting her to be angry. She said I take advantage of her and that's just who I am. I offered the $6, but it didn't matter to her. In her eyes, I'm an untrustworthy, person who takes advantage, and takes what they do for me to granted.

I'm so angry I don't even want to clean their house anymore. I was happy and optimistic at first, but now I just feel wiped out and depressed.

Does anyone have any experience with this? Does anyone have any advice? I would be grateful.

Thanks, Jan

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-30-2007
Sun, 03-27-2011 - 6:43pm

Y, Thank ya!

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-06-2011
Sun, 03-27-2011 - 7:13pm
I've BTDT too. Just that it wasn't with kids. But if this is the first time she's done it since she's been home, then the mother should cut her some slack. The girl offered the mother the six bucks and the mother wouldn't take it. What's up with that?
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-06-2011
Sun, 03-27-2011 - 7:16pm
Pretty disruptive to tell the girl that she only wants to hear what she wants to hear. Your post was pretty.... well.... pointless.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-13-2009
Sun, 03-27-2011 - 7:29pm
ShadowsFall wrote:

Azure and O'Hearto are runners up for the "harsh post of the week" award.

I meant that Ohearto was telling the hard truth.

 

Avatar for elc11
Community Leader
Registered: 06-16-1998
Sun, 03-27-2011 - 8:27pm

With the limited details in your post its hard to say just what is going on here but I'm guessing that your mom still sees you as the person who she kicked out last August. If your relationship was strained/you were "difficult" for a long time, then her view of you may be pretty deeply ingrained. How long have you been back at her house showing her the "new you"? BTW how old are you, are you working, paying towards rent etc? Are there any younger siblings in the home?

I have 2 adult kids who moved back home at some point (both are on their own now). My dd was a nightmare as a teen and we kicked her out when she was 18. She ended up in a bad situation and we let her move back home and tried to help her get on track. Even though she had been on her own for about a year it was hard to see her as a complete adult. Partly because she was being supported by us, partly because she often acted like she was living with her peers in terms of standards of cleanliness, hours that she kept, willingness to help out, etc. It was usually pretty stressful, and about 9 months later she was able to move out again.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-04-2010
Sun, 03-27-2011 - 8:59pm

Dear KSONG,

I am a parent of 3 amazing kids who I love dearly as Im sure your mum loves you too.

The $6 isnt the issue, its the fact that you didnt return it on time. Perhaps you can suggest that you will make it up to her, how about inviting your mum for a coffee at the mall or wherever, just the two of you and YOU pay for the coffee. Its little things like this that will make her feel appreciated.

Have you ever said, "let me cook you and dad dinner tonight"..:

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-21-2008
Mon, 03-28-2011 - 8:59am

Hello everyone,

Just a reminder that, while giving advice to others is fine, that personally attacking other members and/or their posts is not permitted.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-14-2003
Mon, 03-28-2011 - 9:37am

Are you paying any money at all?

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-04-2010
Tue, 03-29-2011 - 8:48pm

Hi

Im not sure if you are referring to my post but I certainly didnt feel that I said anything to offend the original writer.

Maybe you misunderstood what I wrote?

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-21-2008
Wed, 03-30-2011 - 10:04am

I wasn't referring to anyone in particular, just posting a general reminder to remember to be respectful when posting to others.

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