Baby Showers and greedy relatives

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-30-2003
Baby Showers and greedy relatives
Sat, 05-03-2003 - 7:21pm
My cousin is pregnant with her first child. I was really happy for her when I found out because she has wanted kids for a really long time and is turning 30 in October, so she is almost starting to run out of time. My Aunt phoned to ask if I would be available to go to her baby shower and I said yes and immediately went out and bought her some really nice gifts (about $60 worth).

About a week letter I received my invitation in the mail and I instantly regretted my decision and purchases. Included on the reverse of the invitation was a "wish list" detailing EXACTLY what it was that she wanted (down to the brand of the baby shampoo). I thought it was a little tacky, but as it is her first kid I thought I'd let it slide. I turned the invitation over again just to check the time so I could mark it in my diary when my eye caught a sentence I'd missed the first time around. It said "Please include $10 in your card with your well wishes for the new parents." Okay, now I got really annoyed and phoned my mom to ask her what she thought about it. She said it was probably to pay for refreshments or something and asked me not to make a big deal out of it.

Then it was my moms birthday 2 weeks ago and my aunt and cousin were there. I'd baked a carrot cake (my moms favorite) and my mom had baked her famous chocolate cake. Aunt and cousin rave about the cakes. The next day my mom phones me to ask if she can borrow my large cake tin because my aunt had asked her to bake a chocolate cake for the shower. I just about flipped then because my aunt had asked me to bake a carrot cake for the shower as well!!! So not only do they expect very specific (and expensive) gifts, we have to give them $10 and my mom and I are basically supplying the refreshments!! I asked my aunt how many people would be going so I would know how big the cake would have to be and how many slices I'd have to cut and she said there were 42 people confirmed!! So at $10/person thats $420 plus gifts plus free refreshments!!

I know its her first kid and my aunts first grandchild, but really. I am so offended by their behavior, I don't even want to attend the shower anymore. But I've already bought the gifts, confirmed and promised to bake a cake. And to top it off, her shower is the day before mothers day so i won't even have a chance to bake another cake for my mom to celebrate her motherhood and I know my DB and SIL wont bother with anything because they will be spending the day with her family. (An entirely different story which I'm in the mood to sare, so watch out for my other posts.)

I just can't believe how inconsiderate and greedy my family is.


Avatar for leslie2353
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Sat, 05-03-2003 - 10:58pm
In my time and age, I was lucky to get $5 for the kids as gifts, or $25 from rich relatives! How time changed since then. That is so rude! How demanding! How ungrateful! Unbelievable! I wouldn't give them what they asked for if I were you. I would give them whatever you think she NEEDS, and COMBINE them with what your mom's giving, sign one card with your name and hers. If she wants to include $10 let her. She's the aunt and you're the cousin. Cousins don't give gifts. At least not where I came from. As for your gifts, they can still be returned. If I were you, the gifts I'm giving would be just those cakes. Sorry about not being able to bake a cake for your mom, that is if you're lending the cake tin. Yes, I agree, your mom comes first for Mother's Day, and it's too bad they can't BUY or make their own cakes! ! ! ! If I'm having a party at my house, I provide all refreshments, or vise versa. For 42 people? I'm sure they'll need more cakes there. Your cousin will only remember THE GOOD CAKE YOU baked when her baby looked in her baby album. Take photos at least and enjoy.