I have 2 SIL's.
Wow, sounds like you don’t like your SIL or her child much.
Well, I am a list maker.
thanks all for your replies...
Here is my take...
But how would the other person know she doesn't want a list (unless she tells them)?
Since you don't like lists or suggestions as to what people want or need, when someone (such as your SIL) hands you a list, you don't have to take it.
If they don't want a list, that is on them.
My thought about gift giving is that a gift should be given because the giver wants to do something for the receiver.