In with the boyfriend, out with the friends
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|Tue, 07-31-2012 - 4:32pm|
I feel like i've been fighting this battle for many many years and recently it has become such an internal war with myself. i'm 24 now and i feel completely alone as my friends have all the time in the world for their boy friends and other friends with siginificant others except for me. I don't want to be apart of my own pity party but it's really starting to hurt me. I am single and i feel like i am in a place where i just want to be single but i always felt that the love you sometimes lack from a significant other or lack there of should be expelled from your friends and family and yourself, always keeping your full and happy. I know that might be a bold statement and i sometimes think that i maybe have too high standards for my friends. However, now more than ever i am really hurting. They are proud women until a guy falls into the picture and they completely shut down. I do understand that the beginning of a relationship is the part when you see them the most but i feel i'm still being ignored. My one friend now has a boy friend and i never see her. She hangs out with other couples and i simply dont' hear from her unless i make the plans. Additionally, my other girl friends are much worse. One who has been dating the same guy for years is never seen unless i make the plans (again). This is VERY literal... i've seen her 3 times this summer and each time i've made the plans. Her sister and i have ended our friendship because i simply got tired and gave up on the fact that she is a good friend. She only made time for me when boyfriend was busy... once a week. I wish i had said something but i just didn't want to deal with it. Now she glares at me or makes sour faces when i'm around and i feel like because i stood up for myself, i'm being punished. I'm a very independent woman and maybe i do expect a lot from people but i try my best to show them how much they mean to me. However, i'm getting tired and the well is drying up and i feel like i just don't want to give anymore because NOTHING is returned. I feel very alone and almost isolated without choice. I just want to know if this will maybe go away and pass and that there are others out there who are good people and will appreciate my efforts as a friend. I feel like such a wimp but i can't help but feel hurt...