Boyfriend's Family I live with

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-03-2003
Boyfriend's Family I live with
Thu, 10-23-2003 - 6:43pm
Ok, this place is to vent right?

So, I am SO DISGUSTED with my boyfriend's sister and her boyfriend. We all live together (his parents, brother, sister & her boyfriend (and his 3 boys sometimes.)

So, first thing's first, being disrespectful. I thrive off of getting my magazines weekly. When one didn't come in one Friday (like usual) I figured it got lost in the mail and would be in. About a week later I found it in the restroom along with other magazines. Turns out his siter took it from me and kept it from me, never told me it had arrived. I blew that first one off, but it happened again. I'd rather not say anything to her due to her being a bitch. What makes her think she can take someone else's mail and keep it from them? I've resolved that issue with asking my boyfriends parents to please keep my mail in their room until I get home.

Next, my boyfriend and his sister do NOT get a long, but out of the goodness of his heart he decided to change her brakes. So she promises a 6 pack...which he never got. Then her boyfriend needed help changing the oil, and again my bf helps out and is promised, I would assume maybe $20....he didn't get that either. Now of course my bf isn't going to ask for it, he believes in karma, what goes around comes around.

They are selfish............ Turns out one day they came home with a mini fridge to fit in their room, he said he won it at work, but with exact dimensions I disagree and think it was bought by them. So, they have their goodies to themselves which is fine, BUT, they come and take stuff of other peoples in the big fridge, and they use the last of the item, yet never replace it. Then when the someone who bought it needs it there is none left over. Same thing with the ice cubes, we don't have a ice maker, so I am constantly emptying the tray into the bucket. One night I got fed up and left it, so his sister comes in and gets ice, and doesn't refill the tray, which only had about 3 cubes in it to beging with. Ok, so she complains but does nothing to resolve the problem for next time?

They are SLOBS.......she'll finish up using her shampoo and NEVER throws the bottles away, you can usually toss the trash into the can from INSIDE the shower. I don't see her wash dishes that often, she'll leave them for me or my bf's mom to do. Improving the house? Forget about it. His 3 boys broke the living room window last December, he fixed it with duct tape and it was to be replaced, but has yet to be.

His kids....are annoying. She doesn't like his kids, so when they are over he closes himself up in their room. I think the only time he sees them is to feed them and when he goes to the restroom. Why even have them there? Then they bug me and my bf cause they're starved for attention, I feel bad, but what the hell?

I could go on and ON! These two people are pathetic. I am so glad that I am going to move before the year is up..I figure I'll have a nice Christmas in my own apartment!

Does my story relate to you..anyone have any stories to share?
Avatar for leslie2353
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Thu, 10-23-2003 - 7:45pm
So, you all not married, but all live with his parents? What's stopping you and your BF to move out and have your peace and harmony, no more stolen mails, no more fridge hacking, blah blah blah.

That's what I'll do in your shoes. Talk to your BF and see if you can have a place of your own.

As for the mails: can you have them delivered to your work? Can you afford to get your own little fridge?

No many drama: the boys, the brothers, the sisters, really pathetic. I'd move out.

ALSO: is this the kind of melodrama do you want to be married to, if you guys do get married?

Will you be happy with families who are SLOBS?

You have some questions you need to answer on your own, if you want to continue with your boyfriend. It's either them or . . . . but you don't have to be married w/his family. You guys can find a place 35miles away.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-03-2003
Fri, 10-24-2003 - 12:37pm
First of all, yes we are moving out.. that was stated at the end of the message. We were there because we had both lost our jobs and needed to move out of the apartment we had to reestablish our financial situation.

Getting our own fridge isn't the issue here.. I am offended with the way they act.

No I can't get my mail delivered somewhere else...after all I live there too and deserve respect. This hasn't happened more than 3 times, but it is still annoying. Asking his parents to keep my mail in their room is fine with both of us.

I love my boyfriend, love his parents and his brother, but BUT DO NOT LIKE his sister and her boyfriend, THEY are the problem. I am in no position that I need to "choose" between them. I do not have to ask myself any questions regarding my relationship with my boyfriend, HE is not the problem. I do not care if I become "family" with them, afterall,it's by marriage, so who cares. When I move out I don't have to put up with slobs so I don't care.

This to me was a way to vent, I like hearing about other peoples situations and just wanted to share my own.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-14-2002
Sun, 10-26-2003 - 8:06pm
Since you came here to vent and didn't ask for advice, I won't offer any - even though I'm having trouble restraining myself. This is a very good place to vent, as you will find others here who can share your frustrations. However, you must be prepared for responders who offer advice, even if you specifically ask them to keep their opinions to themselves - such is the nature of a public message board, and definitely the culture of this particular board. We all have our own stories, lessons learned, and wisdom to share for those who are willing to listen.

Your posts seem to tell us that you only want to hear from those who will support your position, and you seem to be closed off to anyone who would disagree or might offer some help and heartfelt advice. That is so sad. Opportunities missed...

The only stories I can offer from my own experiences are from the other side of the coin - family members living with me and causing havoc in my own home, which are probably not what you want to hear, so I won't share those, either.

I hope the whole situation works out for the whole family, and you find solutions that bring peace and harmony to everyone - even your BF's sister. Best of luck to you, my dear. You and your BF are going to need it.



iVillage Member
Registered: 07-03-2003
Mon, 10-27-2003 - 11:44am
No, actually I don't think you're right at all.

I am not closed off to people giving their opinions at all... I just don't like when I'm "venting" and I get opinions saying the way OTHER people act is MY fault, which in that case is WRONG. That is when I will reemphasize what the problem is and what is being done.

How can someone give ME advice when I am not the one causing the problem?

I stated that I was moving, that I've done other things to conteract and resolve the problems and to keep peace in the house, what more can SOMEONE ELSE want me to do?

That is the problem with posting here...people read into what they want, and pick things out that they want to focus on and don't look at the whole picture. Then again, I'm sure if you all really knew these two people your own views/advice would change too.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-17-2003
Mon, 10-27-2003 - 1:02pm
I am truly sorry that you are reacting negatively towards advice you were given. If a poster is picking out sentences and misconstruing the meaning, maybe you can tell us what you were actually trying to say. Honestly, I agree with MsFit, I think you should read her pst again.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-02-2003
Mon, 10-27-2003 - 9:41pm
1st off no offense to u, but I can't believe ur bf's parents let their grown kids and gfs, wives, kids, etc live there all together. That is wild! I totally agree that they all sound very disrespectful esp. the sister, and the brother, etc but I guess thats what happens when a bunch of ppl live altogether. I definitely think the best will be for u to get your own place!!! Good luck on your soon to be apt, I am sure u will be SO much happier :-) Rhiannon

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-03-2003
Wed, 10-29-2003 - 5:43pm
Well they aren't actually HAPPY with the sister and her boyfriend and His 3 I stated before the sister is a B***ch and a half. They will be moving back to Mexico after the younger brother finishes school. The sister never asked "permission" to have her bf stay there permanently and he never asked if his kids could stay there part time. My bf on the other hand never had to ask, we were invited to live there due to our financial situation and his parents like us being there.

We're looking for a house so that we can move ASAP...

Thanks for your support....I thank you for being so nice about it! There are some people who think they "know it all!"

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-14-2002
Wed, 10-29-2003 - 6:50pm
Biting my tongue, er, fingers... (n/t)