CAN'T RELY ON MY FAMILY AT ALL!

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-30-2001
CAN'T RELY ON MY FAMILY AT ALL!
7
Wed, 09-15-2010 - 9:26pm

Can someone tell me why family seems to be the LAST people to help when you're down and out??? I've talked to many people and there always seems to be something going on between family members that drives them apart.

It's particularly bothersome to me now that for the last 2 yrs I have suffered 3 lay offs and a divorce.....which lead to bad credit, foreclosure, utilities getting shut off, depression, no $, eating cereal for meals....you name it. Only one person helped me...a sister who I lost contact with for 10 yrs and we just started talking again. It really disappoints me...although growing up I knew we weren't as close as other families....sigh.

Example -- my sister came to town to visit for a week. I told her I wouldnt be able to do anything like dinner or activities that require $$. She is aware of the hardship I've gone thru....still going thru. I just started a new job and have just enough to get by until I get my first week's pay. Still....she asked me to go for coffee last night, which meant I had to go pick her up from where she's staying (she didn't rent a car)...a 20 min drive one way....and then go to a Starbucks. I couldn't because I don't have the $ for any of that even tho it seems like a relatively cheap activity. I got the feeling she really didnt understand. In past years when things were better for me, she was used to me being chauffeur when she came to town and now she's been here for 5 days and I havent seen her once because I dont have the $ for gas to go pick her up!

As old as I am I guess I need to accept it and move on. It's not going to change now.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-29-2002
Thu, 09-16-2010 - 5:28am
Hugs
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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-30-2001
Thu, 09-16-2010 - 7:14am
Thank you! Hugs back to you.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-26-2006
Thu, 09-16-2010 - 9:28am

HUGS to you too. People seem to get used to us being able to extend ourselves and the minute we can't, they take it as a slight. I've been there too. I've been friends with relatively cheap people, with whom I was at a stale mate with. I couldn't afford it, they couldn't afford it either (and in some cases, not willing). When we say "we just don't have it", they act as if we have a secret bank account with tons of money stowed away.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-24-2009
Thu, 09-16-2010 - 1:20pm
Hugs...you have to do what is right for you. You own NO ONE an explanation.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-30-2007
Thu, 09-16-2010 - 2:57pm
Some people just don't understand when you tell them "I'm broke." It's like a foreign language to them. I don't have a car and to get people to understand that, is impossible. Hang in there. I does get better.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-30-2001
Thu, 09-16-2010 - 3:34pm
Thank you.....I needed to hear that!
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-30-2001
Thu, 09-16-2010 - 3:36pm

No they don't understand.....and I get tired of trying to explain my circumstances to everyone! They don't understand because they haven't had the misfortune of going thru struggles.

Thank you!